30 May 2003

Other services (for the baby)

Teaching is a service, in this service economy. It's something that, like disposing of waste and keeping the infrastructure running, needs to be done but doesn't get a lot of money thrown at it. The pay for teachers in this nation is appalling. We say that education is a priority, that the children are our future, that we need to be more educated to compete in a global economy. But the dirty truth is that we don't really mean these things.

Instead, we mean that we need to educate people enough to follow directions and make the rich grow richer. We need to pay teachers what they're worth, but we'll let non-teachers determine their worth (usually rich white guys, who believe that no one is as good, as smart, or as important, as them). We need to strengthen our education system, so we'll create mandates like the "No Child Left Behind" Act, which is in itself patently ridiculous, but then we won't fund them. Yes, we should educate all people to the top of their ability. But do you really think that someone with severe developmental disabilities can perform on grade level? Do you think they even want to? So why does our president now mandate that every child, no matter what his or her abilities are, must perform on grade level? The short answer is because he's a blithering idiot. The long answer is because he can now say that he's an "education president," even if his act makes little sense.

Anyway, the point of this little screed is that we pay plumbers and carpenters what they're worth. We pay bricklayers and asphalt pavers what they're worth. We even pay professional athletes what they're worth. But we'll never pay teachers, those who perform one of the most elemental services this country can have, what they're worth.

There are many reasons for this, and the one we'll look at first is gender.

Tomorrow: Feminizing The Profession

29 May 2003

Progress report (for the baby)

Well, it was a good day today. We have a new water heater, so we can take showers again. And the man who will fix the siding came out for an estimate. Both of these men, older than me (the plumber is 61, the siding man looks to be in his late 50s), are out there daily, doing grunt work. Now, they're both making a good living at it, but they've got scut jobs which I could never do, so they deserve their pay.

That's kind of the way it is here in the US, or at least the way I hope it is. There are all kinds of people who do all kinds of jobs that I would never or could never do. Some of these jobs require skills, and some don't. I'm betting that cleaning septic tanks doesn't take an advanced degree, but I'll pay that guy whatever he wants, because it's something I can't and won't do.

Garbagemen, street cleaners, sewer workers, they all do important work for our infrastructure. But here's the problem. They're all paid, in some form or other, by me and people like me. Of course, I and people like me don't want to pay too much for these services, but we want them carried out. We don't want to think about them, and we don't want to have to do them for ourselves. We allow economies of scale to reduce our costs. And, to be honest, we probably don't pay the people who do these tasks enough. This has led to the persistence of a permanent underclass in America, of people poor enough to do this work that the rest of us won't do for the pay the rest of us will pay.

But what are these services really worth? Where would we be without these services? That should determine what they're worth, and what we should pay. Me, I'm all for paying more for these services, to give these people a decent living wage.

But we won't. We're too interested in keeping our money and keeping the underclass where they are to change the status quo.

Tomorrow: Other Services

28 May 2003

Modern conveniences (for the baby)

Such a shift today, baby, because your Mom and I have lost our water heater. That meant no hot showers this morning, and none tomorrow, either. Your Mom isn't doing too well with this, and, to be honest, I feel a bit taken advantage of. We have a home warranty that covers this, but the guy who just left says that they can't be sure they can replace the thing until tomorrow, and it may not be until Friday.

Water heaters are among the great conveniences that we have now that people don't take the time to marvel at. As you grow up, you'll hear lots of people say that they wish they could have lived in the Middle Ages, or during the Renaissance, or during the Victorian Era. While I understand such desires, I can't see living in any time but the present. Imagine giving up things like running water and ceiling fans and air conditioning and freezers and cars. Those people who ask to live in another time, I think, usually mean they want all the romantic trappings of those previous eras, but they want their modern conveniences, too.

So if I had to pick a time to live, it wouldn't be some time in the past, but the future, where we would have more conveniences, and things like broken water heaters would be bizarre stories of a less technologically advanced age.

27 May 2003

A little history of race (for the baby)

This one is going to be brief, but I hope I hit all the important points for you. As I told you yesterday, people came from different places to the United States. Some of them, however, did not come willingly. Many people, about 250 to 150 years ago, were brought here against their will, as slaves. Most of these people were African. It wasn't until the Civil War that slavery was declared illegal and the slaves were freed. And don't believe anyone who tells you that the Civil War was about things like "states' rights" or "federalism versus republicanism." That war was was about one thing, slavery. The people in the North know it, but the people in the South try to pretend that they weren't fighting to own other people.

So for many years the racial issues in the US were black and white. It wasn't until 1964, when the Civil Rights Act was signed, that blacks and whites were equal in the eyes of the law. Before that, blacks were systematically denied access to education and improvement in the quality of their lives.

But since 1964, though things have changed on paper, they haven't changed much on the streets. You will be born in South Carolina, a state that still sees a great disparity in opportunities for whites and blacks. Because education is so bad in general here, people really don't pay enough attention to the racial gap in educational test scores. It's atrocious. The fact of the matter is that students in predominantly black schools get less money spent on them than students in predominantly white schools. It's illegal, but it goes on.

After generations of being denied equal access to the "good things" in life, many blacks are rightly distrustful of the system that is designed to keep them as an underclass. And they must surely cringe when they hear white people say that we need to remove the social safety nets that many underclass blacks and whites rely on. Don't get me wrong, there are people who can unfairly take advantage of the system, and there are also many blacks who wish to do away with welfare and Affirmative Action. But you don't hear the people who need these things in order to survive saying that they need to go away. Instead you hear people who have benefitted from them forget them once they have achieved a certain social status.

Anway, baby, this is a very thorny issue, and I'm afraid that I'm not doing a very good job of explaining it to you. But if you come at it with the right presuppositions, that everyone, regardless of their race, or their color, or their religion, or their gender, or their sexual preference, deserves to be treated kindly, then you'll see your way through this maze. You'll see good and bad people on both sides, and good and bad points being made on both sides. But we hope you'll stop seeing sides and start seeing just people.

Tomorrow: Modern Conveniences

26 May 2003

Race in America (for the baby)

Well, that Memorial Day post opened the floodgates for me, so I guess I'll just jump right in with probably the most volatile topic in America today. Race, the issues surrounding Black v White v Brown v Yellow, is something you're going to have to deal with. Even by capitalizing all those colors, I've made a statement.

You will have the great fortune of being born White. That is, you come from Italian roots on my side, and Scotch-Irish roots on your Mother's side. That means that our ancestors came here from Europe. And that means that we're the top dogs. We hold the majority of the population, most of the good jobs, most of the positions of influence, and most of the power in the US today.

Other people's parents came from other places. People whose ancestors came from Africa, Asia, or Central and South America look different than us. Coming from such different places, they bring different things to this country, different cultural experiences, different ideas about what fun is, what family is, what life is about. And this country allows us all to celebrate our differing heritages. That's a good thing.

But this country is also working on the supposition, unspoken yet persistent, that White is Right. I don't mean those stupid people who belong to the Klan or other hate groups, I mean those people I mentioned above, who possess money and power. They're the true beneficiaries of this dictum, while those ignorant poor whites you see marching around in sheets on TV are just the footsoldiers (In a way, it's like the Republican dream -- sell it to the poor whites and they'll buy it, because they want to be rich. Only the rich whites know that these poor whites will never be like them, and so they use them to do their dirty work). Maybe by the time you're older things will be different, but I doubt it. By and large, you still need to be white to succeed, despite decades of work to "even up" the races.

Tomorrow: A Little History Of Race

25 May 2003

Memorial Day (for the baby)

Well, baby, after about a week of no internet access, we're back just in time for Memorial Day, which is tomorrow. Although your Mother and I are pretty much pacifists, that is, we believe in peaceful solutions to any problem, I need to tell you some things about Memorial Day.

This is the day every year when we honor those who have been members of the military in the United States. Some of them fought in wars against other countries. Some of them fought in operations around the world which promoted U.S. interests. Some of them merely lived a communal life, ready to defend this country. Some of the things they did were good and necessary. Some of them were not. But the people who fought and killed and died were not the people who made the decisions about the legitimacy of what they were doing. They were the children of the poor, those considered expendable by the military planners. They were those who believed that they had a duty, something to repay for living in this land of the free. In fact, it's because of them that we call this the home of the brave, too.

So you should never disrespect a member of the military here. Many have done so, going so far as to spit on soldiers returning home from Vietnam. But those soldiers, generally poor, generally uneducated, generally patriots, had nothing to do with why we were there, just as they had nothing to do with why we were in Panama, Nicaragua, Columbia, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Iraq, and soon, Iran and Syria. They believe in the peace, and do what they do to keep it.

Remember, some of those people faced death, faced other people trying desperately to kill them, so that, in the long run, we could be allowed to criticize the decisions that put them there.

There are plenty of other people to raise your ire: a department of "justice" that is taking away basic civil liberties; a legislative branch that is constructing the conditions for a race war in this country; a clandestine intelligence network that is busy spying on its own citizens. These are the people that should earn your condemnation, not those who slept in the mud, who went without sleep, who lived on the edge of life and death, who suffered so many indignities in the name of duty and honor.

I realize that this is a big concept for you to grasp, little baby (now 2.5 inches long). But it's up to you to fight for the things that are right, and maybe when we're gone things will be better.

Tomorrow: Race In America

19 May 2003

More moving progress (for the baby)

Today was a hopping day. Your Mom went back to work, and I worked here at home. I started out by transferring our phone service, where we had to lose the number we liked. Then I called contractors about our siding, then I transferred the water service, then I transferred the refuse service. So I spent a lot of time on the phone to begin the day. After that I went to the apartment for a load of stuff, and cleaned the old place pretty well. We don't think we'll get back our deposit there (your Mom burned the linoleum in the kitchen within a week of us being there), but I'm cleaning it up in hopes that we'll get something back.

After that I had to come home to unpack stuff and bring it all to my study (lots of books), then wait for the delivery men for the entertainment center. When they delivered it, I think your Mom and I were unprepared for how big it is. When we looked at it in the showroom, we saw it in comparison to other large pieces, in a huge space. Now, in the living room, it's pretty imposing. It also makes the fifth type of wood we've got tin the living room. For such a small room that's a bit too many shades of wood.

Once that was done, I headed back to the apartment for another load, and met your Mom there. But before I got there I stopped at Lowes and opened a charge account and bought a riding mower for the lawn. We filled both cars again, came over here, had a bit of dinner, then unloaded and unpacked some more. In the middle of all this I also did four loads of laundry (the last load is in the dryer now). Your Mom is downstairs now wiring up the entertainment center, so that we can completely reverse our gender roles.

Tomorrow: The Lawnmower Arrives

18 May 2003

Moving progress (for the baby)

As you can see, I've skipped a couple days, but it's now Sunday, and we're in the new place. Yes, it's still a mess. Yes, I've already spent a large pile of money at Lowes. Yes, the dog and cats will take a while to adjust. But yes, we love it, and yes, it'll be perfect for you.

It was quite a story yesterday, when the reservation we had for the truck we were renting fell through. So we had to go to another dealer, then get a smaller truck. So we made two trips, and still didn't get everything we needed. I'll be making trips in the car for the next few days to get all my books and files and clothes. When I went to return the truck, I had to wait for over an hour outside int eh cold while your Mom made sure that the cable guy set up everything here.

Your Mom's friend Lori helped us pack up stuff and take a couple loads over on Friday night. Then your Mom's friend Karen, her husband Bill, and her two boys Sean and Kyle helped us move the heavy stuff yesterday. Karen was a workhorse; she did far more work than any of us.

So far we've got our bedroom and the kitchen set up. I set up the computer in my study, but I'm surrounded by many, many books in boxes. We need new bookshelves because ours won't fit in here. As soon as we break down and get those, I'll be working well in here.

We're making plenty of room for you. I'll be visiting Lowes again tomorrow, I'm sure, and bringing over boxes. I'll let you know how it goes.

Tomorrow: More Moving Progress

15 May 2003

Closing and moving (for the baby)

Today your Mom and I closed on our new house, the house you'll live in. Closing means that we now officially own the house. There are lots of papers to sign, and then a lot of money changes hands. Unfortunately, none of that money came our way. Things went very well. The people we're buying the house from, the Sizemores, are very nice. They have four boys, and I think they just outgrew this space. He's done great work on it; it's in excellent shape.

Now we have to move. So for the next three days we're going to be seriously involved with that. After my last day at Converse tomorrow I'll come home and start moving stuff over there. On Saturday we've rented a truck to get our big furniture over there. I dread moving, but this one shouldn't be too bad. A lot of what we need to move is still in boxes from when we moved away from Kentucky.

Your Mom, of course, won't be doing much heavy lifting. Anything over 25 pounds would be bad for you. So I'm hoping we'll get some friends over here on Saturday to help with the heavy stuff. We'll see.

Tomorrow (if the computer isn't disconnected): Moving Progress

14 May 2003

More hopes for you (for the baby)

To be honest, what I'm hoping for, and all I'm hoping for, is your health. Ten fingers, ten toes, all body parts there, good development, and I'll be happy. Everything else is gravy. Of course, if that doesn't work out, it doesn't change a thing. It's just that, statistically speaking, you should be happy and healthy.

In the genetic lottery, which is ruled by statistics, there are certain things that we'll expect in you. Again, let me caution you here; if you don't turn out this way, it doesn't mean a thing, and it certainly won't affect how we feel about you.

To begin, your grandfather Payne thinks you'll actually be more than one person. He thinks twins are due in your Mom's family. We'll see. You'll probably have dark curly hair, and be fairly dark complected. You will probably be pretty intelligent, and we hope you'll like school a lot. We hope you get my eyes, because they're in very good shape. We hope you get my teeth, too, because they've held up well.

I hope you'll get your Mom's patience, because I don't have much. I also hope you'll get her ability for self-awareness, because I'm lacking in that area. If you got her head for money that wouldn't be so bad either. I hope you get my appetite for learning. It's not that your Mom doesn't have it; it's just that mine's a bit more developed.

There are many other things that we wish for you, but we'll save them for when we can tell you them face to face.

Tomorrow: Closing And Moving

13 May 2003

The computer and you (for the baby)

When in doubt, write about the computer. Yes, that's what I'm doing now. I spend a lot of time on the computer, both for my job and because I like it very much. Of course, by the time you're using them, I can't even imagine what they'll be like. Maybe they'll be voice-activated. Maybe they'll be universal in design. Maybe everything will be one big Beowulf cluster. Who knows? All we really know about the future of computing is that the people who try to predict it are wrong most of the time.

I use the computer to grade papers, write articles, write emails, design graphics, design web sites, and generally have fun. I listen to music on it, play games on it, and look at pictures on it. It's a great tool, one that I don't know what I would do without. Your Mom sends emails, does statistics work (or did so, for her thesis project), writes reports, and sometimes plays games. She doesn't use it as much as I do.

I started getting into computers when I was a Jesuit, back in the early 1980s. I remember writing my Master's thesis on an electric typewriter. That was the last big thing I did that way. By the next year I was fully into computer usage for letters and the like, and have never looked back. I've kept up with the changes, and have managed to learn to do web sites, a skill that's very handy for a teacher to have. I try to keep myself current with what's going on in the computing world, although I can already feel myself getting rusty.

I imagine that your entire scholastic career will be supplemented by, if not based on, computers. This thing called the World Wide Web, or WWW, or the Internet, or just the web or the net, will be crucial for you. It's a linking and conecting of computers one to another throughout the world. Some computers hold a lot of information that's just there for the sharing. This information is stored in things called databases, and presented in things called web sites or web pages. With a special piece of software called a browser you can visit all these places, look at pictures, and get all kinds of information.

It's a fun thing, just to look around the web and see what you can learn. Yes, you can lean while you're having fun, and learning itself is its own kind of fun. I guess that's what I hope for you, that you'll find learning fun and interesting and want to do a lot of it.

Tomorrow: More Hopes For You

12 May 2003

Your honorary aunts and uncles (for the baby)

You're going to have some very fine honorary aunts and uncles. These are people that are close to your Mom and me, and people we want you to know and grow up loving. We've got some couples and some singles for you. When I was growing up, I had Uncle Bill the Barber, who was my Dad's close friend. We knew he wasn't our real uncle, but he felt as close as family. These people are the same way for us.

Mike and Mig Sistrom are your Dad's good friends from Durham, NC. Mike teaches History, and Mig is a CPA. Mike currently works at UNC-Greensboro, and Mig runs her own consulting firm. Mike and I were in grad school together, and we got to be very close. Mike and Mig have been very good friends with your Mom, too. We vacation together every year in the mountains of western North Carolina. I imagine you'll be coming along on those trips sometime soon.

Kevin and Cat Rahimzadeh are also old friends. Again, I know them from grad school. Kevin teaches English at EKU, and he essentially got me my job there. So in a way, he's responsible for your Mom and I meeting. Cat works at home, raising Mike and Julia and Susan. Julia and Susan are twins. Kevin is one of the best teachers I know, and has also been very good to me throughout the years. When I first moved to Kentucky, Kevin and Cat extended me their hospitality and love, and got me through a rough transitional time.

The MacLarens, Bruce and Marcia, are friends from Richmond. Marcia teaches in the English Department, and Bruce teaches in the Natural Sciences Department. They have both been very good to your mother and me for many years. Bruce and I used to coach the Academic Team at EKU, and your mother was on that team. Marcia is the essential Earth Mother. Her goodness and concern oozes out her pores; she can't help but be a caring, nurturing person.

Then there's Ron Messerich, the chair of the Philosophy Department at EKU. Ron was a friend of your mother's first, and then became a friend of mine, too. He's also a coach of the Quick Recall team at EKU. Ron, Bruce and I cut quite a figure at tournaments. Ron is also probably the most intelligent person both your mother and I have ever met. But it's not his intelligence that makes him great; it's the fact that he tempers that with a true humanity and concern for peoples' feelings.

Tomorrow: The Computer And You

11 May 2003

What we do for fun (for the baby)

It's been three days since I've posted because of one of the things that we do for fun. Your Mom was graduated from Eastern Kentucky University with her Specialist degree in School Psychology this weekend. This is a very serious degree, more than a Master's but less than a Doctorate. So we went to Richmond, KY to see your grandparents in their motor coach and our friends at EKU. In between all the socializing, we went to your mother's commencement exercises. This morning we had brunch with Ron Messerich, the chair of the Philosophy department, Bruce MacLaren, a historian of science, and Kevin Rahimzadeh, of the English Department. These guys are among our oldest and best friends at EKU. Kevin brought Mike, his oldest boy, and someone you'll be hearing lots of stories about.

Now, seriously, what we do for fun is actually pretty limited. Your Mom bought me a great telescope a couple years back, and I enjoy using that very much. I'm looking forward to a level backyard with good sight lines and little light in our new home. I also like to play the guitar and the keyboard. I read a lot, surf the web a lot, and, though I wouldn't say anything in particular is my hobby, I have fun doing almost anything except grading papers for classes.

Your Mom is cut from the same cloth. She likes to read, and surf the web, go to the movies and watch TV, and even run once in a while. I guess your Mom is more outdoorsy than I am. She was raised on a farm, so she's much more familiar with the outdoor life. But she's really afraid of snakes, which is something I'm not afraid of.

When your Mom and I have some free time, we usually like to be together, doing something that we can do together. With a new house and a new baby, I'm not sure how much free time we'll have in the future, but we've been pretty good at carving out spaces for ourselves so far, so we'll see what happens.

Tomorrow: Your Honorary Aunts And Uncles

08 May 2003

The places you're from (for the baby)

Obviously, you'll be born here in Greenville, SC. It's a very nice city, with lots of cultural opportunities, good parks, and a very good quality of life. The schools here are solid, so you'll get a decent education. But there are other places that your Mom and I call home, so in a way they're your home, too.

Mom was born in Island, Kentucky, a very small town in the western side of the state. Your grandmother and grandfather live right outside Calhoun, which is about 20 miles south of Owensboro, the biggest city in those parts. The whole area is known for farming, and small family farms are surviving by consolidating. One of the newer industries in the area is chicken farming.

Mom and I also spent many years in Richmond, Kentucky. This is where she went to school, and where I taught. Richmond is another small town, although much bigger than most places in Kentucky. It's in the central part of the state, about 20 miles south of Lexington, the second-biggest city in the state. People farm around Richmond, and the University is a big employer. There's also a growing manufacturing presence there.

I have lived in many different places. I was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but I've lived in or outside of places like Philadelphia, Boston, and St. Louis. I lived the longest in and around Chapel Hill, North Carolina, when I was in school. All of these places except Chapel Hill are big cities, so I'm used to urban life.

Where we're living now, in Taylors, is a nice mix. We're close enough to Greenville and Spartanburg to have city experiences, but we're far enough removed to actually have a decent-sized yard and darkness at night.

Tomorrow: What We Do For Fun

07 May 2003

Your cousins (for the baby)

Once again, because your Mom is an only child, the only real cousins you have are on my side of the family. Here you have two, Gina and Nicky. They both live in Pittsburgh with their parents, Uncle Nick and Aunt Georgette. Gina is in school at St. Anne's grade school, and doing very well there. She just had a birthday yesterday. I am Gina's godfather, which means that I spoke for her at her Baptism when she was just a baby. For many years Gina was an only child, but a few years ago along came little Nicky. Nicky isn't in school yet; he'll start next year.

Both Nicky and Gina are nice kids. They're both very good-looking and smart. That's why Gina does so well in school; she's a good reader and writer. Just this year Gina had her first sleepover, which is a good thing, because we'd like to have her come down to our house for a week or so next summer. You'll be way too young to remember it, but your Mom and I think it would be good to have her down here. Nicky's favorite toy is Bob the Builder. By the time you read this, Bob the Builder will probably be something no one remembers, but right now he's very popular. Gina and Nicky also like Sponge Bob Squarepants, who will also be a dim memory in a few years.

As with all kids, and as will be with you, Gina and Nicky are naturally good people. They are kind and generous, and they know how to share and take turns. Both of them love your Mom very much. Your Mom and I joke that, before I met her, when I would go to visit Uncle Nick and Aunt Georgette, it was a big deal for Gina and Nicky. Now I'm just the guy who drives Aunt Amanda. I don't mind, because it's fun for me to see them all playing together. The whole family enjoys the joke, which just adds to our happiness when we're all together.

Tomorrow: The Places You're From

06 May 2003

Your aunts and uncles (for the baby)

I'm sorry to have been away for two days, but it's finals week where I work, and that means a lot of work for your Dad. You'll see as you grow up that finals weeks are great times for me, but they require a lot of work.

Anyway, I was going to write today about your aunts and uncles. Let's get your Mom's side of the family out of the way first. Your Mom is an only child, so you have no real aunts or uncles on her side. She's got cousins, though, and we might end up calling them aunts and uncles for you, but I'm not sure. On my side, there's your Aunt Mary, your Uncle Nick, and your Aunt Georgette. Mary and Nick are my brother and sister, and Georgette is my sister-in-law.

Aunt Mary is a member of the Sisters of St. Joseph. She lives in a community with other women, and they do good works. Right now Aunt Mary helps women to decide if living the religious life is right for them. She lives with them, and talks to them, and helps them to figure out what they're doing and where they want to go with their lives. All three of us were taught by the Sisters of St. Joseph when we were in grade school, and we're all very fond of the community. They do important work for the world.

Uncle Nick works at Allegheny General Hospital, but he doesn't work just for that hospital. He works for a group of hospitals, and he supervises people who collect the money that people (and insurance companies and the government) owe the hospital. He's very good at what he does, and people in his field know it. Many people want him to go somewhere else to work for them, and he may leave the job where he is right now pretty soon.

Aunt Georgette manages salespeople for a firm that sells videos and DVDs. She too is very good at what she does, especially because she also takes care of Uncle Nick and Gina and Nicky, too. She works very hard at work, and then comes home and works very hard, too. They have all just moved into a new house (they used to live near where Nick, Mary and I grew up), and they like it very much.

All your aunts and uncles are very excited about you. I had a good time telling them all about Mom being pregnant. They are looking forward to seeing Mom and you sometime this summer (although you'll be a bulge in her tummy, they'd still like to see you).

Tomorrow: Your Cousins

03 May 2003

Your grandparents (for the baby)

Well, there are some tales to tell here. I'm sure you'll eventually hear them all, but let me start out with the basics. Your Mom's family tree is far more interesting than mine. Your grandmother and grandfather Payne, Sheila and Charlie, live in rural western Kentucky, in Calhoun (south of Owensboro). Charlie is actually your step-grandfather. Your biological grandfather, Kenny Rickard, lives in that area, too. Although Charlie is your step-grandfather, he really was a father to your Mom. In fact, he and your Mom share many traits. Charlie owns a company called Advanced Fire Safety, where he sells, charges, and inspects fire supression systems. He also farms about 100 acres that he owns with his father, Buck. Charlie works very hard, and is very good at what he does. Sheila runs the business office for Advanced Fire Safety. She just finished her first online college class in accounting, although she's been doing it in the field for many years. Sheila and your Mom are very close, because for many years while your Mom was growing up there was just the two of them.

Your grandmother and grandfather Pellegrino live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Americo used to be a mailman, and Virginia did many things, including being a librarian and working in a bookstore. Since I'm much older than your Mom, my parents are much older than hers. While he's never been in the best of health, right now Americo is suffering from Parkinson's disease and is pretty much completely deaf. Back in their younger days, your grandfather was very active in the church and in the American Legion. Your grandmother used to work for the phone company and played the piano beautifully.

Your Payne grandparents are very excited about you. Your Pellegrino grandparents will find out about you next week, and they will be thrilled, too.

Tomorrow: Your Aunts and Uncles

02 May 2003

Naming you (for the baby)

Well, we've been thinking about this, and we've come up with some interesting things. There's a surname frequency search engine that lists your last name as the 2397th most popular surname in the United States, so we need something that will sound reasonable with that name. And let me tell you, "Pellegrino" is a tough name to match.

I've always loved the name "Cara Mia" for you, if you're a girl. That's because it means "My Beloved," and it sounds so sweet. Just say it: "Cara Mia Pellegrino." That's a great name. Your Mom likes the name "Isabella." You have a great-great-aunt Isabelle, who is married to my great-uncle Alfred. He's my godfather, so the connection there is nice.

If you're a boy, we think we want to name you after my father, your grandfather. So your name would be "Americo." You can bet that no other kid on the playground will have a name like that. In fact, you can't find it on any of the baby-naming sites. Your grandfather has always said that he wouldn't want a child to have his name, but I know he'll change his mind when we tell him that you're named after him. I was always hoping that we could give you this name, but I held back, because I wanted your Mom to weigh in on it. Just the other night, without my prodding, she said that she liked "Americo," and I was inwardly jumping up and down. It's a proud name, a name that carries both your heritage and your country with it. And once you meet your grandfather, you'll be proud to carry his name.

Tomorrow: about your grandparents.

01 May 2003

For the baby (for the baby)

This blog will be for you, baby, as I take it through your mother's pregnancy. It's now May 1, and we think your Mom became pregnant in the middle of March. That means you're pretty small inside of her, but still affecting her greatly.

She's getting morning sickness, and is, as she says, becoming very lazy. But she'll have to be working hard, because in two weeks we'll be moving into the new house where you'll live.

Let me tell you what we're up to: your Mom is a School Psychologist for the Greenville County school district in South Carolina. This is her first year here, and she loves her job. Your Dad is an Adjunct Instructor at USCS and Converse College. I used to be an Associate Professor of English at Eastern Kentucky University, but I gave up the position to come here with so your Mom could pursue her career. I was hoping for fulltime work, but now, with you on the way, that might not work out, because I could be a house husband and take care of you all the time.

Tomorrow: about your name.