The computer and you (for the baby)

When in doubt, write about the computer. Yes, that's what I'm doing now. I spend a lot of time on the computer, both for my job and because I like it very much. Of course, by the time you're using them, I can't even imagine what they'll be like. Maybe they'll be voice-activated. Maybe they'll be universal in design. Maybe everything will be one big Beowulf cluster. Who knows? All we really know about the future of computing is that the people who try to predict it are wrong most of the time.

I use the computer to grade papers, write articles, write emails, design graphics, design web sites, and generally have fun. I listen to music on it, play games on it, and look at pictures on it. It's a great tool, one that I don't know what I would do without. Your Mom sends emails, does statistics work (or did so, for her thesis project), writes reports, and sometimes plays games. She doesn't use it as much as I do.

I started getting into computers when I was a Jesuit, back in the early 1980s. I remember writing my Master's thesis on an electric typewriter. That was the last big thing I did that way. By the next year I was fully into computer usage for letters and the like, and have never looked back. I've kept up with the changes, and have managed to learn to do web sites, a skill that's very handy for a teacher to have. I try to keep myself current with what's going on in the computing world, although I can already feel myself getting rusty.

I imagine that your entire scholastic career will be supplemented by, if not based on, computers. This thing called the World Wide Web, or WWW, or the Internet, or just the web or the net, will be crucial for you. It's a linking and conecting of computers one to another throughout the world. Some computers hold a lot of information that's just there for the sharing. This information is stored in things called databases, and presented in things called web sites or web pages. With a special piece of software called a browser you can visit all these places, look at pictures, and get all kinds of information.

It's a fun thing, just to look around the web and see what you can learn. Yes, you can lean while you're having fun, and learning itself is its own kind of fun. I guess that's what I hope for you, that you'll find learning fun and interesting and want to do a lot of it.

Tomorrow: More Hopes For You

Your honorary aunts and uncles (for the baby)

You're going to have some very fine honorary aunts and uncles. These are people that are close to your Mom and me, and people we want you to know and grow up loving. We've got some couples and some singles for you. When I was growing up, I had Uncle Bill the Barber, who was my Dad's close friend. We knew he wasn't our real uncle, but he felt as close as family. These people are the same way for us.

Mike and Mig Sistrom are your Dad's good friends from Durham, NC. Mike teaches History, and Mig is a CPA. Mike currently works at UNC-Greensboro, and Mig runs her own consulting firm. Mike and I were in grad school together, and we got to be very close. Mike and Mig have been very good friends with your Mom, too. We vacation together every year in the mountains of western North Carolina. I imagine you'll be coming along on those trips sometime soon.

Kevin and Cat Rahimzadeh are also old friends. Again, I know them from grad school. Kevin teaches English at EKU, and he essentially got me my job there. So in a way, he's responsible for your Mom and I meeting. Cat works at home, raising Mike and Julia and Susan. Julia and Susan are twins. Kevin is one of the best teachers I know, and has also been very good to me throughout the years. When I first moved to Kentucky, Kevin and Cat extended me their hospitality and love, and got me through a rough transitional time.

The MacLarens, Bruce and Marcia, are friends from Richmond. Marcia teaches in the English Department, and Bruce teaches in the Natural Sciences Department. They have both been very good to your mother and me for many years. Bruce and I used to coach the Academic Team at EKU, and your mother was on that team. Marcia is the essential Earth Mother. Her goodness and concern oozes out her pores; she can't help but be a caring, nurturing person.

Then there's Ron Messerich, the chair of the Philosophy Department at EKU. Ron was a friend of your mother's first, and then became a friend of mine, too. He's also a coach of the Quick Recall team at EKU. Ron, Bruce and I cut quite a figure at tournaments. Ron is also probably the most intelligent person both your mother and I have ever met. But it's not his intelligence that makes him great; it's the fact that he tempers that with a true humanity and concern for peoples' feelings.

Tomorrow: The Computer And You

What we do for fun (for the baby)

It's been three days since I've posted because of one of the things that we do for fun. Your Mom was graduated from Eastern Kentucky University with her Specialist degree in School Psychology this weekend. This is a very serious degree, more than a Master's but less than a Doctorate. So we went to Richmond, KY to see your grandparents in their motor coach and our friends at EKU. In between all the socializing, we went to your mother's commencement exercises. This morning we had brunch with Ron Messerich, the chair of the Philosophy department, Bruce MacLaren, a historian of science, and Kevin Rahimzadeh, of the English Department. These guys are among our oldest and best friends at EKU. Kevin brought Mike, his oldest boy, and someone you'll be hearing lots of stories about.

Now, seriously, what we do for fun is actually pretty limited. Your Mom bought me a great telescope a couple years back, and I enjoy using that very much. I'm looking forward to a level backyard with good sight lines and little light in our new home. I also like to play the guitar and the keyboard. I read a lot, surf the web a lot, and, though I wouldn't say anything in particular is my hobby, I have fun doing almost anything except grading papers for classes.

Your Mom is cut from the same cloth. She likes to read, and surf the web, go to the movies and watch TV, and even run once in a while. I guess your Mom is more outdoorsy than I am. She was raised on a farm, so she's much more familiar with the outdoor life. But she's really afraid of snakes, which is something I'm not afraid of.

When your Mom and I have some free time, we usually like to be together, doing something that we can do together. With a new house and a new baby, I'm not sure how much free time we'll have in the future, but we've been pretty good at carving out spaces for ourselves so far, so we'll see what happens.

Tomorrow: Your Honorary Aunts And Uncles

The places you're from (for the baby)

Obviously, you'll be born here in Greenville, SC. It's a very nice city, with lots of cultural opportunities, good parks, and a very good quality of life. The schools here are solid, so you'll get a decent education. But there are other places that your Mom and I call home, so in a way they're your home, too.

Mom was born in Island, Kentucky, a very small town in the western side of the state. Your grandmother and grandfather live right outside Calhoun, which is about 20 miles south of Owensboro, the biggest city in those parts. The whole area is known for farming, and small family farms are surviving by consolidating. One of the newer industries in the area is chicken farming.

Mom and I also spent many years in Richmond, Kentucky. This is where she went to school, and where I taught. Richmond is another small town, although much bigger than most places in Kentucky. It's in the central part of the state, about 20 miles south of Lexington, the second-biggest city in the state. People farm around Richmond, and the University is a big employer. There's also a growing manufacturing presence there.

I have lived in many different places. I was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but I've lived in or outside of places like Philadelphia, Boston, and St. Louis. I lived the longest in and around Chapel Hill, North Carolina, when I was in school. All of these places except Chapel Hill are big cities, so I'm used to urban life.

Where we're living now, in Taylors, is a nice mix. We're close enough to Greenville and Spartanburg to have city experiences, but we're far enough removed to actually have a decent-sized yard and darkness at night.

Tomorrow: What We Do For Fun

Your cousins (for the baby)

Once again, because your Mom is an only child, the only real cousins you have are on my side of the family. Here you have two, Gina and Nicky. They both live in Pittsburgh with their parents, Uncle Nick and Aunt Georgette. Gina is in school at St. Anne's grade school, and doing very well there. She just had a birthday yesterday. I am Gina's godfather, which means that I spoke for her at her Baptism when she was just a baby. For many years Gina was an only child, but a few years ago along came little Nicky. Nicky isn't in school yet; he'll start next year.

Both Nicky and Gina are nice kids. They're both very good-looking and smart. That's why Gina does so well in school; she's a good reader and writer. Just this year Gina had her first sleepover, which is a good thing, because we'd like to have her come down to our house for a week or so next summer. You'll be way too young to remember it, but your Mom and I think it would be good to have her down here. Nicky's favorite toy is Bob the Builder. By the time you read this, Bob the Builder will probably be something no one remembers, but right now he's very popular. Gina and Nicky also like Sponge Bob Squarepants, who will also be a dim memory in a few years.

As with all kids, and as will be with you, Gina and Nicky are naturally good people. They are kind and generous, and they know how to share and take turns. Both of them love your Mom very much. Your Mom and I joke that, before I met her, when I would go to visit Uncle Nick and Aunt Georgette, it was a big deal for Gina and Nicky. Now I'm just the guy who drives Aunt Amanda. I don't mind, because it's fun for me to see them all playing together. The whole family enjoys the joke, which just adds to our happiness when we're all together.

Tomorrow: The Places You're From

Your aunts and uncles (for the baby)

I'm sorry to have been away for two days, but it's finals week where I work, and that means a lot of work for your Dad. You'll see as you grow up that finals weeks are great times for me, but they require a lot of work.

Anyway, I was going to write today about your aunts and uncles. Let's get your Mom's side of the family out of the way first. Your Mom is an only child, so you have no real aunts or uncles on her side. She's got cousins, though, and we might end up calling them aunts and uncles for you, but I'm not sure. On my side, there's your Aunt Mary, your Uncle Nick, and your Aunt Georgette. Mary and Nick are my brother and sister, and Georgette is my sister-in-law.

Aunt Mary is a member of the Sisters of St. Joseph. She lives in a community with other women, and they do good works. Right now Aunt Mary helps women to decide if living the religious life is right for them. She lives with them, and talks to them, and helps them to figure out what they're doing and where they want to go with their lives. All three of us were taught by the Sisters of St. Joseph when we were in grade school, and we're all very fond of the community. They do important work for the world.

Uncle Nick works at Allegheny General Hospital, but he doesn't work just for that hospital. He works for a group of hospitals, and he supervises people who collect the money that people (and insurance companies and the government) owe the hospital. He's very good at what he does, and people in his field know it. Many people want him to go somewhere else to work for them, and he may leave the job where he is right now pretty soon.

Aunt Georgette manages salespeople for a firm that sells videos and DVDs. She too is very good at what she does, especially because she also takes care of Uncle Nick and Gina and Nicky, too. She works very hard at work, and then comes home and works very hard, too. They have all just moved into a new house (they used to live near where Nick, Mary and I grew up), and they like it very much.

All your aunts and uncles are very excited about you. I had a good time telling them all about Mom being pregnant. They are looking forward to seeing Mom and you sometime this summer (although you'll be a bulge in her tummy, they'd still like to see you).

Tomorrow: Your Cousins

Your grandparents (for the baby)

Well, there are some tales to tell here. I'm sure you'll eventually hear them all, but let me start out with the basics. Your Mom's family tree is far more interesting than mine. Your grandmother and grandfather Payne, Sheila and Charlie, live in rural western Kentucky, in Calhoun (south of Owensboro). Charlie is actually your step-grandfather. Your biological grandfather, Kenny Rickard, lives in that area, too. Although Charlie is your step-grandfather, he really was a father to your Mom. In fact, he and your Mom share many traits. Charlie owns a company called Advanced Fire Safety, where he sells, charges, and inspects fire supression systems. He also farms about 100 acres that he owns with his father, Buck. Charlie works very hard, and is very good at what he does. Sheila runs the business office for Advanced Fire Safety. She just finished her first online college class in accounting, although she's been doing it in the field for many years. Sheila and your Mom are very close, because for many years while your Mom was growing up there was just the two of them.

Your grandmother and grandfather Pellegrino live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Americo used to be a mailman, and Virginia did many things, including being a librarian and working in a bookstore. Since I'm much older than your Mom, my parents are much older than hers. While he's never been in the best of health, right now Americo is suffering from Parkinson's disease and is pretty much completely deaf. Back in their younger days, your grandfather was very active in the church and in the American Legion. Your grandmother used to work for the phone company and played the piano beautifully.

Your Payne grandparents are very excited about you. Your Pellegrino grandparents will find out about you next week, and they will be thrilled, too.

Tomorrow: Your Aunts and Uncles

Naming you (for the baby)

Well, we've been thinking about this, and we've come up with some interesting things. There's a surname frequency search engine that lists your last name as the 2397th most popular surname in the United States, so we need something that will sound reasonable with that name. And let me tell you, "Pellegrino" is a tough name to match.

I've always loved the name "Cara Mia" for you, if you're a girl. That's because it means "My Beloved," and it sounds so sweet. Just say it: "Cara Mia Pellegrino." That's a great name. Your Mom likes the name "Isabella." You have a great-great-aunt Isabelle, who is married to my great-uncle Alfred. He's my godfather, so the connection there is nice.

If you're a boy, we think we want to name you after my father, your grandfather. So your name would be "Americo." You can bet that no other kid on the playground will have a name like that. In fact, you can't find it on any of the baby-naming sites. Your grandfather has always said that he wouldn't want a child to have his name, but I know he'll change his mind when we tell him that you're named after him. I was always hoping that we could give you this name, but I held back, because I wanted your Mom to weigh in on it. Just the other night, without my prodding, she said that she liked "Americo," and I was inwardly jumping up and down. It's a proud name, a name that carries both your heritage and your country with it. And once you meet your grandfather, you'll be proud to carry his name.

Tomorrow: about your grandparents.

For the baby (for the baby)

This blog will be for you, baby, as I take it through your mother's pregnancy. It's now May 1, and we think your Mom became pregnant in the middle of March. That means you're pretty small inside of her, but still affecting her greatly.

She's getting morning sickness, and is, as she says, becoming very lazy. But she'll have to be working hard, because in two weeks we'll be moving into the new house where you'll live.

Let me tell you what we're up to: your Mom is a School Psychologist for the Greenville County school district in South Carolina. This is her first year here, and she loves her job. Your Dad is an Adjunct Instructor at USCS and Converse College. I used to be an Associate Professor of English at Eastern Kentucky University, but I gave up the position to come here with so your Mom could pursue her career. I was hoping for fulltime work, but now, with you on the way, that might not work out, because I could be a house husband and take care of you all the time.

Tomorrow: about your name.

Going on Jeopardy (i take)

Well, today was the audition/exam to be on Jeopardy. I drove down to Atlanta last night and stayed in the hotel where the exam was being held. It was pretty nice, and should have been for $170 for a single room and parking.

The exam was at 11:00, so at about 10:30 I went down to the lobby to scope the situation out, and saw bunches of people hanging around, all talking about how good they were at Jeopardy. I'm not much for that, so I went upstairs and just looked out the window (I was on the 34th floor, so the view was great). I went back down about 10:50, and was soon ushered into the testing room.

There were about 150-175 of us in the room. We listened to the contestant coordinators give their spiels, watched a video from Alex Trebeck, and got prepared to take the exam. It had 50 questions, and you had 8 seconds after each question was asked to write down your answer. The questions really ran the gamut, both in categories and difficulty.

Here are a few I remember:

Who wrote Of Human Bondage? (I got this one wrong; I wrote down the correct answer then changed it.)

What do you call a form of government with two houses of legislators? (I got this one right; I wrote the wrong answer then changed it.)

Name the former Miss Tennessee who started her own magazine in 2002. (I don't have a clue about this one.)

His second term as president began eight years after his first.

He wrote Childe Harold's Pilgrimage.

Minerva was the Roman goddess of wisdom. Who was the Greek goddess of wisdom?

This is the southernmost city in the contiguous 48 states, and it has a Hemingway museum.

Name the body of water between Spain and France also known as the Gulf of Gascogne.

Who wrote Gotterdamerung?

Even though he wasn't his father, Mozart and other musicians of the time called him "Papa."

Who wrote Moon for the Misbegotten?

Well, I can't remember any more of them. Anyway, to make a long story short, I was one of 12 people to pass the exam, so I was invited to play a mock game.

That was pretty interesting, because one of the people I played with was the anchor person for one of the news stations in Georgia. She had a film crew along, because they had been promoting this story for months, the fact that she was auditioning for Jeopardy. So after the mock game (which only put three questions in any category, and when a category was completed, another one was put in) the anchor asked to interview me. It'll air this Friday. I asked her what she would have done if she hadn't passed the exam, and she said that she would have just had to tell her audience that she did' make it. To be honest, that's kind of the way I felt going down there, like there was a huge burden on me to pass the exam.

The last person I spoke to in the room was the producer, who thanked me and chatted a bit. But I told him that everything after passing that exam was gravy, because that was the thing I was worried about, with so many people knowing I was taking it.

So I feel very good about making the cut and qualifying. But now for the bad news. Out of about 25,000 people who try out, about 800 make the contestant pool. But the show only needs about 400 contestants a year. So I've still only got about a 50/50 shot of making the show. I think I did well enough in the mock game (I got a number of the questions), and I think I told a cute enough story, so I hope I get called. They start filming the new season in July, and they'll call with a month or so of lead time if they want me out in L.A. And here's another bit of bad news: contestants have to pay for their own airfare, housing, and meals while competing. Of course, the goal is to win it all back and more.

Hitting your wife (i take)

Over the past two nights a drama has played out upstairs here. The couple who lived there had a huge fight two nights ago, whihc went on from 2 to 4 am, and spilled out into the parking lot. All day yesterday and last night, the woman was moving out. I was outside doing some work on the car when I saw her with a bruise on her face. I asked her how she was doing, and she said she'd be better soon. I asked if I could help and she said no. I jumped to the conclusion that she was leaving because her husband gave her that bruise.

While I'm glad that there will be no more fights and stomping and storming around up there, I wonder how she'll survive, and what he'll do, too. Believe me, I'm no model husband, so I can understand what pushed him and how he reacted.
Anyway, here are some serious links on dv:

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
This looks like the big player int he field. It's also been chosen as one of the 100 most worthy charities.

Men Against Domestic Violence
This one goes both ways, looking at violence perpetrated by men and sufferd by men.

The Domestic Violence Handbook
This is a good primer for the field.

We're in (i take)

Well, we just got approved. Our loan, that is, for the house. So we'll be closing on May 15 and moving in during the two weeks after that. I spent a couple hours there today with the inspector, and the place is starting to grow on me. I'm still not a big fan of the stairs, but I'll get used to the space, I'm sure.

It's nice, being able to afford something this costly. And it's all due to Amanda, who knows how to manage money far better than I do. This also gave us a chance to review our financial situation. I've really taken a beating in my IRAs, but I hope to make that up in the next 20 years. Of course, given the fact that I'm a workaholic, I really can't see myself retiring anyway.

You know, I'm never far from a rant about money in academia, and this would be the perfect opportunity to engage in one, but I'm just tired of it. I just got back in touch with a very old friend, from my Duquesne days, and catching her up made me write a bulleted list of my life the past few years. One thing I said about EKU is that I'm watching from a distance as it burns in slow motion. That used to make me angry, but now I'm just glad I got out.

This friend, Marcia Wratcher, is now a VP at Art Institute Online, a web-based venture by a for-profit Art school. I knew her when she was the tutor coordinator in the Learning Skills Program at Duquesne. Now it's a Center. Marcia employed me as a tutor, and when she left to go to Pitt, I took her job. Then she was at CMU, then Nova, and now at AIOnline. She was always a good person, and a good friend. She's had a ton of heartache in her life, but doesn't let it rule her.

I remember when I was in the Jesuits and working on my long experiment at St. Joe's University in Philly. Marcia called late one night, to tell me that her soulmate, the man she was born to be with, had just died. I can't remember the details of the conversation, but I remember the details of that cramped room I was in, and wondering, as I listened, how such a small space could hold so much pain coming through the phone line.

Through cancer, through death, through other great losses, Marcia has remained a wonderful person. I hope I can see her when I get to the Burgh this summer.

Buying a house (i take)

Well, we did it, took the plunge, etc. We're going to buy a house, if we can qualify on the loan. We made an offer today, signed the offer sheet and began the wait for a counter-offer. We meet with the money next Wednesday, and it doesn't seem like that's going to be a problem. Here's a look at the place, with picture from the realtor's web site.

I have to say, it feels very strange for me to be signing this mortgage knowing that I'm not bringing in the cash to pay it. I used to joke that I wanted to be a kept man, but now, the closer I get to that state, the more terrifying it is. I'm sure that any huge mortgage like this would worry me a bit, but knowing that I am so out of control on this one really makes it more difficult.

Amanda is fine with it all, and I guess that's what swayed me about the place. I've got a litany of things that I think are wrong with it, but in the end, it's all about compromise, and this seems to make A very happy. She likes the location, the style, the number of bedrooms, the fact that they're pretty small, and the deck and pool. That's a pretty good list, one worth honoring.

Used by the truth (i take)

This whole Arnett fiasco has many sanctimonious journalists up in arms. The former editor of the Scripps Howard news service has this editorial on the Nando site. In it, he claims that journalists in this war shouldn't be used by enemies of a journalist's nation. Putting aside the petty and small-minded thought behind this, let's just examine the claim about being "used."

Yes, many journalists have been used by enemies of the state, some willingly and some unsuspectingly. But this use, it goes both ways. What we have in this war is massive use of journalists by the American state. Do you really think that these "embedded" journalists are telling you all they know? Do you really think you're hearing unfiltered reality? I'm not talking about giving away operational security, or endangering missions. I'm talking about the fawns at the Pentagon who hang on every word of operational briefings, damn glad to be allowed to play vicarious soldier. I'm talking about the men and women in the desert and on the ocean who satellite link everything that they're fed, from fawning interviews to news about nothing. Even if there is no intent to deceive on the part of the military (which I doubt), there is still an inevitable filtering and biasing of the facts. Is it just me, or is the entire press corps aware of their compromised positions, as they are willing to call themselves embedded, without even dinner and drinks beforehand? Don't sell yourself short, kids; your integrity is worth at least a good Meal Ready to Eat.

Our former editor calls the Iraq's Ministers of Defense nothing but propagandists. I'll give him this point, as long as he'll admit that we're doing nothing but the same in our daily Pentagon briefings. But he doesn't, because that would mean acknowledging the weakness of his implied claim, and suggests that his jingoism is the only thing he's got for support.

Nicky's birthday (i take)

Today is my little brother's birthday. He's 40. It's weird that you can be that old, and still not feel like you're as old as all your friends who are 40. My mother was 40 when she had me (Dad was 30). I'm 42, and I still feel like I did when I was 30. Not too old, but definately not young any more. When I teach "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" I always ask the students to tell me how old Prufock is. I used to laugh when they'd tell me he's 35 or 40. Now I wince, thinking that this must be middle age, to think you're younger than you really are.

I guess all of us, Mary too (she's 38 now), feel the same way. I don't see us growing older, just growing up and accepting more responsibilities. It wasn't just yesterday when we were young, and I wouldn't go back to that time, knowing what I know now. Imagine that, to have the knowledge of a 40-year-old and only be 18. That's more of a nightmare than going through adolescence the first time. I know many people who believe that their best days were in high school or college, and I really feel sad for them. They peaked so early, and they must recognize that everything has been downhill since then. What gets them out of bed in the morning? I mean, how could you face the day, knowing that it'll never be as good as something in your memory? I tell my students that if your best day isn't tomorrow, you should just shoot yourself today and spare yourself the disapointment that you life will inevitably be.

Sometimes I think about the future, about having a kid now, about being 60 when that kid is 18 (and those numbers don't even work any more -- I'll be older). And then I consider my employment situation, and wonder how long this part-timing will go on. Amanda and I are discussing rolling over my retirement package from EKU, and it's weird to think that in 18 years I'll be 60. How long will I work? How long will I be under-employed? What about kids? How will Amanda change? What other changes will those years hold?

Total meltdown (i take)

I've just spent the whole day trying to recover this computer, with the help of Wendell, the computer god. Now it looks like I've got it licked. When I booted up this morning, there was nothing but a black screen. I tried a few moves, and found that I could only run programs from the task manager, but I couldn't perform any Windows functions. It was a nightmare. I could see that my data was still there, but everything else was dead.

Almost three hours into what I hoped would be a five-minute call to Wendell, he figured that the registry melted down at such a level that the kernel couldn't even recognize itself. So I had to do a reinstall of Win2k, which means I've had to reinstall all programs, too. Fortunately, as Foghorn Leghorn says, I keep my feathers numbered for just such emergencies. I'm hitting the web and downloading updates, checking through my downloaded files to see what's essential, and pulling out the cds when I have to.

Fortunately, I wasn't completely pulling my hair out, because I knew that all our important data was burned to a cd a bit back. Man, I'm not a big one for backups, but this peace of mind was essential today.

Once again, Wendell proves his worth, talking me through all this. Once again, I see just how little I know about this machine. I may be a power user, especially when compared to most academics, but I'm a long way from the IT guy I used to be.

Real fighting (i take)

Today the real fighting begins. "Stern" resistance. "Heavy" resistance. "Republican Guard with resolve." All of that means real casualties, real American men and women dying to promote an imperialist agenda. I saw one bereaved father last night ask George Bush to take a good look at a picture of his son. The NY Times gave it short shrift, because it doesn't jive with their jingoism: "Friends and neighbors of Staff Sgt. Kendall Damon Watersbey, 29, who has a 10-year-old son, sobbed in the streets of his northeast Baltimore neighborhood, according to WBAL-TV. 'I want President Bush to get a good look at this, really good look here,' his father, Michael, said, holding up a picture of the dead marine. 'This is the only son I had, only son.'"

Only one member of both houses of congress has a son or daughter in the military. No one on Bush's senior staff has a child in the services. Instead, they're pulling a sleight of hand about their involvement with Enron, Halliburton, and other corporate evil-doers, and killing other people's kids to do it. Pay no attention to the criminals behind the curtain; watch us blow things up instead. And if some poor person has to die to draw your interest elsewhere, well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

So far, budget analysts estimate, a little over 24 hours of war has cost the US 1.1 trillion dollars. But I hope people start paying attention to the human cost of this war, what it will do to us as a nation. We have squandered our morality for something that will benefit only the rich. And the children of the poor will provide this opportunity for them.

This site, by cyberjornalist.net, seems to be the best collection of links to the real war news. The NY Times' rolling over on this sickens me. You used to be able to count on them for decent coverage, but now they're no better than Fox News. The truth is out there; we just won't get it from the US media.

All war, all the time (i take)

I can turn on CNN at any time and get a live update on the war. I can hit their web site and get a rolling body count, interactive maps, military analysis, video feeds (if I'm willing to subscribe), live pictures from Baghdad, and administration talkin gheads justifying their existence. What I can't get is our admission that we will, if we deem it necessary, use chemical weapons against the Iraqis.

This is, of course, the ultimate in hypocrisy. But it proves my point about the shift in American foreign policy under Rove, I mean Bush. Might makes right. That's all there is to it. We couch it in different terms, but when push comes to shove, we support a double standard (there's the rest of the world, then there's us) because we have the strength to do so. Rove/Bush knows that the American military is a 500-pound gorilla, and the only 500-pound gorilla. So we can do what we want. There is no more rule of law, as Scalia admitted last week, when he claimed that he's in favor of curtailing the rights of American citizens during wartime. He was receiving a Free Speech Award in Cleveland, but he barred the broadcast media from attending the event (Is he smart enough to see the irony in this? I'm not sure.). When questioned by members of approved media outlets, he said that Americans enjoy far more rights than are constitutionally guaranteed them, and that he would be willing to cut back to a constitutional minimum for security reasons.

At least there are decent people out there. But who will hear such a scathing condemnation? He'll just be accused of anti-Americanism, which will, of course, be ironic. But American has a tin ear for hearing such things right now.

Hijacking the conversation (i take)

There was just some furor at my old school about anti-war and pro-troops protestors clashing. To be fair, I should say it's anti-war versus pro-war protestors, because that's really what it boils down to. What caught my eye was a picture of a girl pointing to her engagement ring, given to her by her affianced man in Kuwait, confronting a group of anti-war protestors. She equated being against this war with being against her husband-to-be. There was also an instance of one anti-anti-war man rushing through the anti-war protestors, ripping up their signs. Of course, the Public Safety office saw no need to control him at all.

Now, how many of you didn't like that move I made up there, to equate pro-troop with pro-war? Yes, it's a bad argumentative strategy, and, if you grant me that premise, I've effectively hijacked the conversation through this switch. This move, however, is exactly what the media and talk radio and other sources have done. It's unpatriotic to be against the necessary collateral damage in such an attack. It's anti-American to support the collective wisdom of the United Nations. It's treason to protest against this illegal action.

Why do we let them get away with it? I think it's because we fall prey to their fallacies. We're bedazzled by their rhetoric, or cowed by their volume, and just give in. We may take the moral high ground in expressing our doubts about the goodness of Hussein, and when we do, we're lost. If we admit to doubt, if we admit to not having all the answers, but knowing that this one can't be the right one, we've lost the argument, and we've lost the media. When I think of what winning this fight would cost me, morally, I don't feel so bad. But when I see these idiots getting face time and espousing idiocy I wish I had fewer qualms about using their tactics against them.

The dogs of (i take)

Well, we'll probably start the invasion, and eventual military occupation of Iraq sometime very soon. Bush will speak tonight, and I won't listen (I'll be teaching). But the rest of the world will be listening, and watching us do this alone (or maybe with Tony Blair in a cheerleader's uniform). And the fact that we'll do this alone, without those pesky other nations who are united against us, just means that we won't have to make any concessions to power-sharing when the military government we set in place in Baghdad takes over.

When you boil it all down, I really can't believe that killing people, especially to remove one leader, is a viable alternative. Never was, never will be. Too much money and material expended on too focused a target. But it's obvious that this was has other motives behind it. Our eventual attack upon Iran is obvious. Bush's sleight-of-hand about the economy is also obvious. When the Saudis kick us out, will we go after them for possessing WMD, or will we still send them aid, even though they are the most repressive regime in the area? Hey, they're our buddies, right? They can't be bad, because we like them. Just like we liked Pinochet. Just like we liked Strosser.

But the polls keep on saying that Americans support this. For me, this is the ultimate in bread and circuses. It's the biggest circus possible, full of bells ands whistles. Big media will play the Bush game, and show us just what he wants us to see: American technology killing people far away, people whose leader threatens our way of life. So we'll keep the world safe for democracy by killing women and children, by killing even combatants that we have no quarrel with (Bush has claimed that we have no quarrel with the sovreignity of Iraq, only with its leader). So instead of assassination as a tool of statecraft, we offer the destruction of a culture as such a tool.

To question the need for this war is, according to the national tenor, unpatriotic. Isn't that what Reagan claimed when he union-busted PATCO? And isn't that what Jefferson was being when he questioned the crown?

Annual evaluations (i take)

USCS is in the process of annual evaluations. That's when faculty produce fat reports about what they've been up to for the year. It's a mass of paper for the chair and any committee that reads them all. But is it worth it?

I used to joke that I would spend more time documenting what I did than actually doing anything worth documenting. While that's a stretch, I know that my best-laid plans to keep track of all service, scholarship, and teaching activities usually spun out of control about midway through the first semester, so I spent a frantic week before evals were due every year, trying to reconstruct what I had been doing. I'm sure that I missed a lot of stuff I did, gave others short shrift, and probably left a lot of activities undocumented. Such is life: you're either busy with it, or busy taking notes on it. As an adjunct, I'm spared the report-writing, but I'm also spared any activity worth documenting in detail.

As I expected, I heard tales of excess about what people presented for their annual reviews: copies of emails, thank-you notes, stuff like that. The chair spoke of someone who wheeled in a full four-drawer filing cabinet for his or her tenure application. That's just uncalled for. Have some respect for the Promotion and Tenure Committee members who have to sort through all this stuff, write a report, and then defend their decision at the college and university levels.

But the real problem here is the fact that anyone, and I do mean anyone, can make himself or herself look good on paper. This is especially true of English profs, who teach the ability to argue effectively. Since we know what everything will say, and how every faculty member paints himself or herself as indispensible to the institution, let's just agree that this is our starting point, and move on from there. For annual evaluation, let's offer up a bulleted list, with no explanations, no narrative, no excess wind. If explanations are necessary, they should be done in a meeting with the committee, and it is only there that supporting documentation should be produced. I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of people will get by, and get approved, on the strength of just their bulleted lists. They've saved themselves gobs of time, saved the committee a ton of work, and allowed us all to get on with our core business, educating people.

Free and good (i take)

I admit it; I download mp3s all the time. I have recording music people telling me it's a crime. I have artists telling me I'm stealing money from them. But then I read that the average band, after they've sold 250,000 records, ends up owing its record company over a million dollars. So don't tell me that I'm taking food from anyone's table. I'm not letting a billionaire get any more richer. When they get a decent pricing structure for cds, something without a 1000% markup, then I'll think about buying pop cds again.

But I don't do the same for software. There are some great free programs out there, and I use them. They're usually smaller, with less bloat, and more stable that something from, say, Microsoft.

Many of the programs below are strange because they pack so much value into something that's free. It's something the music industry could learn. Here's an example of what I mean: Two weeks ago I was stopped by a cop in a small town in South Carolina, on my daily commute to and from work. He told me that I was doing 58 in a 40 zone. I know I was speeding, but it wasn't that by that much. He asked me if I traveled this route often, and I told him I was on this road twice a day. He asked me, nicely, to remember the next time to just keep it down, and he let me go. Now, every time I drive through that town, no matter how late I am, I do the speed limit, because this guy was so nice. If he had ticketed me, I'd be pissed every time I drove through there, and would keep on speeding. Now, however, I do 40, and think kindly of being let off by the nice guy who did me a kind turn.

Here's some good stuff:

Notetab Light

This is a great editor for html, or for ripping text from the web and cleaning it up before you put it into a full-featured word processor. It's fast-loading, with a great interface, the ability to open many files at once, and good menus and insert lists. I originally got it as a replacement for the windows notepad, but now I use it for a lot more.

Irfanview

Here's a great free pic viewer, with lots of options. Again, it's fast, small, and reliable. I use it as the system default for viewing pix. I used to use ACDSee, but now they're charging and nagging. None of that from Irfanview.

Gimp

I was a bit intimidated by this one at first. I have grown up with Photoshop as my big pic editor, so switching was odd. Unlike many other products, it doesn't try to look like Photoshop. But it does pretty much the same stuff. The learning curve is steep, and some functions are deep into menus, but anything that does this much takes a while to come to grips with.

Trillian

This all-in-one chat client is pretty hot. It compiles all your chat clients into one interface. I've got MSN, IRC, AIM, Yahoo, and ICQ access. Now I run them all under trillian. Small footprint, clean interface, pretty sweet.

Mozilla and Opera

Two good browsers. Opera is fast, very fast. But you give up some real estate on the screen for a banner ad (not too intrusive; it's in the toolbar). Mozilla is pretty sweet, and totally free. With all the holes in IE, I use these as much as I can.

TinyApps and Freeware Home

These are the places I hit the most often looking for new apps. Tinyapps specializes in just what its name says: small, very small applications, most of them free. Freeware Home runs a nice site, updated every weekday, with vigilance about things like browser hijacking and adware.

The war frenzy (i take)

Is war a foregone conclusion? It certainly seems so, given the rhetoric I'm hearing not just from Washington, but from many media outlets. I guess I expect such sabre-rattling from W, as a way to keep our attention focused on anything but the absolute mess he's made of the economy, or the fact that our trade deficit, and the federal deficit, will grow ever-larger under his regime. But I don't expect it from radio personalities or talking heads on TV. And in the end, I think they're the ones who do the most harm, by waving this red flag under the public's noses.

How much does Washington affect my day-to-day life? In all honesty, not much. I mean, gas prices are higher, I can't get gainful full-time employment, and my retirement is worth less than a third of what it was worth three years ago. But all those things would probably have happened no matter whose finger was on the button. Dems, GOPs, it really makes little difference. And I think the same is true for most U.S. citizens. But I had to listen today to some open letter that Charlie Daniels sent to the "Hollywood people," read by some radio personality who wouldn't know an original thought if it actually strcuk one of the three brain cells he had in his head. And then he opens up the phone lines, so everyone can call in and jump on his pro-war bandwagon. All because Charlie Daniels, that intellectual giant, that man who has done more research than all other washed-up celebrities, wrote a whiney letter to cop some fame. Of course, he knows the score. Hussein is bad because he says so, because our leaders say so. And therefore we must go over there and get him. The leap of logic that gets from the first sentence back there to the next one just blows my mind.

By that same token, Sharon is bad, because our leaders say so. But we don't go get him. In fact, no one mentions him at all. We just keep on sliding him $3,000,000,000 (that's three billion dollars) a year, and cluck unapprovingly when the next batch of kids are killed. And Fidel Castro must be bad, because our leaders say so. But we don't get him. In fact, we lease land from him, and use his island as a convenient place, off our soil and away from our press, to conduct covert "interrogations" of people we don't like. We call it Guantanamo Bay. And hell, half the dictators in South and Central America must be bad, because our leaders say so. They say they don't like torture, but they use it. They say they don't like drugs, but they prop up regimes that support the drug trade. In short, we want to get Hussein because we can. Because our troops will soon be kicked out of Saudi Arabia. (Yeah, we look the other way at the way women are treated there, at the way political dissidents are tortured there, at the way the Faisal family has systematically plundered that country and its people for lo these many years. Why? Because we like them. We can put troops there, and fly through their air space, and give them aid.) And when they're kicked out of SA, they'll need some place to go, some place that's conveniently next to Iran, our next target.

Soon, after this exercise that will leave thousands dead, that will kill babies and non-combatants, that will be uncovered by the media, so fearful are they that they'll lose sources in the government, that will foment many atrocities and war crimes, after all this, we'll just up and transfer our rhetoric against Iraq to Iran. Iran harbors terrorists. They're building weapons of mass destruction. They kill their own people. And worse of all, they just don't like us.

Yes, I'll be expecting another letter from Charlie Daniels then, after he puts his teeth back in and slurps down another brew. It will be read again, by some chimp with a flair for showing his ass in public, doing what is necessary for ratings, and thought be damned. And it will affect the quality of my life far more than W has, because he'll ruin another morning drive, piss me off with his idiocy and inflamatory, knee-jerk speechifying, and make me realize it's not the smartest people we listen to, just the loudest.

Boys will be (i take)

If everyone in college athletics cheats, does that make it right? When America's self-proclaimed ethicist at the New York Times says it's OK to steal an umbrella if someone has stolen yours, then I guess it's OK to cheat if everyone is doing it.

Jerry Tarkanian, looking like he had a tooth pulled by an 18th-century dentist, appeared on SportsCenter last week to defend himself and Fresno State. He pleaded ignorance. Fresno State should get the death penalty just for hiring him, as should the next school to hire Harrick, soon to be late of Georgia. Punish the alumni who insist on winning at the cost of a school's integrity.

That's why I like what St. Bonaventure has done, starting at the top and cleaning house. Coaches get away with what they can, because they can get over on Athletic Directors. And ADs let it happen because they are, overtly or implicitly, allowed to by the administration of the school. So ditch the president, who was asleep at the wheel if not deliberately cheating. And this one had the gall to say that fudging this poor kid's transcript was "the Franciscan thing to do." Some real Franny should clock him with a sandal. The school made a good move, and I hope they save the AD, who protested this whole welding certificate thing, but was overruled by the OFM-impaired president.

What does it say about college sports when Bob Knight, Hitler in a sweater, makes the classiest move of the week by refusing his salary for this year? What a sad state for the game.

Time (profblog)

It's amazing to me, how much time I have on my hands now. Of course, I haven't really started grading yet, and that will be time-consuming, but right now I've got gobs of time left over from school. I'm able to do more work around the house, and actually exercise. All this, and I'm teaching far more than I've ever taught in a semester. How can I do this? I think the secret here is service. As an adjunct, I don't have to do any service to the institution, just show up, teach, and collect my paltry paychecks. I realize now just how much of my time at EKU was spent on non-teaching work. All this time I have now, it was all sucked up by the institution. Hey, that's the way the game is played. I'm not complaining about it, just amazed that it works as well as it does.

USCS is an interesting place -- I especially like the 30% minority makeup of the student body. It will take me some getting used to, after EKU, but I'm really excited about it. The school is undergoing great growth; it's the fastest-growing university in SC. Faculty are crammed in everywhere -- I'm in a converted room that until last week housed the soda machine. We're teaching in the library, teaching in the media rooms, practically teaching in the halls. I get a good guerilla feeling from the place, like they're doing this all on a shoestring (I've been talking with some people from IT, and they're sorely understaffed, with no funds for new hires). But people are interesting, willing to work, and working hard.

GT is different. I really enjoy the people, and especially enjoy these students. I've got a class full of non-traditional students who run the gamut in skills but are all committed to their work and their betterment. I can live with that. I'm teaching online and at a branch campus, so I don't think I see the institution as a whole at its best. I think that people are committed, and working hard, but there are policies and strictures in place that get in the way of doing a good job. I'm sure that things will eventually work out, and if they don't, I'll roll with it.

I find myself playing "what if?" quite a bit. What if I had stayed at EKU? What would I be doing right now? How would I be feeling? Would I still be as frustrated? Will the institution ever commit to faculty retention? Did my leaving make any difference? Will people like Kevin and Paula ever have a chance to make a decent wage? When I think of these things, I realize that I made the only move I could; if I were still there I would be so frustrated and angry that it would kill me as it did before. From a few hundred miles away I can say that I chose the better way. I'm bringing home as much as an adjunct as I was as an associate prof with tenure (Amanda says I'm actually making more here, so I guess I am). I've got more free time. I've got less stress. I've got the time to be a husband. I've got the time to be a friend. I've got the time to write, to think, to work. Yeah, it's all about time here now.

IT woes (profblog)

In May of 1555, Pope Marcellus, a friend of the Jesuits, died and Paul IV assumed the papacy. Paul was a bitter man who hated Spain and everything Spanish. Ignatius of Loyola, a Spaniard, was shepherding his little order, the Societatis Jesu, through the snares of counter-Reformation Europe, but the Jesuits in Rome were reduced to dire poverty by papal enmity. When pressed by his companions to speak about the new Pope, Ignatius responded, "Let us speak of good Pope Marcellus."

I could write about the Keystone Kops that staff the IT department at one of my workplaces, but I won't. I could write about the arcane and byzantine hoops one must jump through just to get what most faculty throughout the country take for granted. But I'd rather write about the great IT people at EKU. If there's one thing I'll miss down here in SC, it's the overwhelming competence of the IT staff at EKU. It seems like there was someone who actually thought about what faculty needed when they set up the IT infrastructure at EKU. The policies made sense, they faculty and students were supported, and if someone was throwing curveballs, you can bet that there would be answers soon. But more than the infrastrcuture and the skills, there was a desire, on the part of almost everyone I dealt with in IT, to be helpful, to allow me to do my job in the best way possible by providing me with the support I needed.

I certainly took that for granted when I was there. I realize now that I got far more cooperation from IT than I ever got from any other area at the University. I know that such a structure is enforced from the top, and I appreciate that. The grunts, the people on the front lines, reflect the attitudes of those above them. And those attitudes were always positive, always considerate, always willing to go the extra mile, to get the workaround, to make things right.

In fact, I just sent them an email. Here's the text:

Gentles,

You people have spoiled me. That's all there is to it -- I'm spoiled rotten. As I start a new semester here at three different schools, I want you to know that you have set the bar high for other IT departments. I've been messing with a variety of IT folks down here for a couple weeks now, and believe me, you guys rock.

Not only do you have the infrastructure and the policies and procedures that actually support students and faculty, but you also have a willingness to help, and that, I'm finding out, is the most important thing.

I hope that I told you this when I was around, but just in case I didn't, I want you to know that your work, your thoughtfulness, your desire to do things right,and your commitment to surpassing expectations are all far superior to anything I've encountered. Now that I'm seeing how the rest of the world operates, you all stand out in sharp contrast.

I hope that you have a good semester. Work down here will be fine, but I will sorely miss you, not just for the services you provided, and for the many kindnesses you showed me, but for the fact that you were, to a person, knowledgeable, friendly, approachable, and committed.

Take care,

Joe

Starting over (profblog)

It's a new academic year, a new place, a new work situation, a new blog, and ultimately, a new life.

I'm finally getting installed down here in Taylors, SC, where I'll be teaching at Converse College, University of South Carolina Spartanburg, and Greenville Tech. I'm really running the gamut here, with courses at a two-year school, a very small four-year liberal arts school, and "South Carolina's Metroplitan University." I'll be a road warrior, a la George Brosi, but I'll survive. The important thing is that Amanda loves her job, loves the people she's working with, and can see herself staying here until retirement. That's fine by me, because I've already got nibbles from places about a full-time position for next year. The puzzle for me now is this -- I'm bringing home as much adjuncting as a slop hire for part-time work as I was as a full-time associate prof with tenure in Kentucky. And with this comes no service responsibility (something I spent a GREAT deal of time on in KY) and no pressure to put out anything. This is going to be a great year, I think. I just don't know what to do with all the free time.

Our apartment is pretty cool, with a lot of space. We live about a seven-minute drive from A's workplace, and I've got commutes of various lengths to my places. I don't mind it because the traffic is cool here. The animals have adjusted very well, especially the cats, who seem to be banding together more and more to fight the dog. Again, that's fine by me. I just dumped over 2K into the Saturn (new tranny), to make it roadworthy for the commuting I'll be doing. That's about the only bummer since we've been here.

On the plus side, it looks like Sue Smith has sold the place in Richmond. We won't get rich off of the deal, but we will get out of debt and have a bit to put down on the next house. We're looking at stuff down here, and there's plenty of new building, so we'll have a great deal to chose from. It doesn't look like I'll be a townie any more, but who knows where we'll end up?

One of these days I'll have enough stamina to talk about the GSP program, and what a great thing it was. Someday soon . . .

GSP (profblog)

What a great job this is for a workaholic. We just had our opening day, and things are going swimmingly. The staff here is incredibly talented, incredibly committed, and knows how to prioritize. Everything revolves around the scholars, as it should. It's refreshing to work with a group of people with a single-minded purpose, with the desire to do things right.

You've got to see this program in action to see what it can do for a scholar -- check it out.

I'm enjoying it because it's all-consuming, and because the people I am working with, from the state level on down to the Resident Advisors, are in this for the long haul. We're dealing well with EKU people, although there have been some slips (it's been suggested that these "slips" might be because of my own relationship with EKU, but I don't believe it). In fact, some people on campus have been especially great to us: Lee Van Orsdel, Julie George, and Kari Lyons of the library have been especially accommodating. Judy Cahill and Jim Keith from ITDS have been more than kind. Rich Middleton and Ed Herzog have made things work right the first time. Mark Jozefowicz in Transportation has covered well for my shortcomings. But the two most impressive people have been Mark Cross and Jill Price from Community and Workforce Ed. They have really done the lion's share of the scheduling work, putting in tedious hours making and remaking plans for us. I wish I could work with people like this every day.

OK, this is day two of the program, with thirty-four more to go. I'm sure I'll be ready for a break at the end of this, but the past two weeks have been exhausting and invogorating at the same time.

Looking good in Greenville (profblog)

So we're here in Greenville now. My puny body has taken a beating, while Amanda is still going strong, cleaning, fixing the place up, etc. And all the while she's filled with pity for me, because I'm so old and tired. The cats have recovered from their drugging (they were a bit wobbly yesterday), the dog likes the walks we've been on, and Amanda, of course, thinks the place is just great.

I heard from the chair of USCS, who may offer two sections. Sweet. Damn sweet, in fact -- now we can afford to be here. We've been driving around a bit (to set up the cable modem -- sweet speedy access), and we really like the place. Our neighbors seem friendly enough, with two kids and a very cute cocker spaniel. The apartment looks like it'll be big enough to get everything in, including the stuff we bought that we had to have for here. Along with the cable modem we got a cable TV package, so it's like a vidiot's delight around here. I'm sure that Amanda will be all over the web and the tube when I head for Richmond again and GSP.

Speaking of GSP, now I see what they meant about the necessity for people skills and diplomacy in the position. I've been answering emails for hours, writing to potential scholars and their parents, telling many of them that, no, what they wish to do can't be done within the parameters of the program. It's not a pleasant thing, but it's necessary. Maybe soon I'll get good at it.

Mike and Mig are coming down for the weekend. Mike's now a PhD; he defended a month or so ago and marched two weeks ago.

OK, trundling off to my trundle bed, a happy camper for the first time in a long time.

Big job search (profblog)

To begin, let me say that I've stayed away from the blog for a while because I have been so filled with anger and frustration about EKU, my situation there, and how it has been treated.

See, there I go again, because I can't get this off of my mind.

Now the rubber hits the road, and I'm deep into a job search. I just got back from Greenville, where I set up some things at Greenville Tech and at Converse College. I'm waiting to see if I can be of any use at USC Spartanburg. But it's getting late, and I'm not feeling as secure as I need to, so I've started to apply for tech writing jobs. I know this is a slippery slope -- the money is so good that's it's hard to give it up (again) to go back into teaching.

I've been through it before, but it bears repeating -- this place won't take the issue seriously, won't do anything more than give lip service to this, until good people leave. As long as the administration can say that "we're studying the matter" or "we know that this is a problem," and do nothing except wring their hands and complain that they have no money, they will continue to promulgate this structure that says you're worth more with no experience than you are with tenure and promotion and service to the institution.

There are things that break my heart about this, beyond the fact that I love this place and this job, but have to leave it.

Anyhow, all of the headaches and things I'll be glad to leave behind aside, Greenville is a nice place. Amanda loves it, so even if I hated it, it would be OK. But I like it too. It's far more diverse than Richmond (which isn't saying much). The cost of living is close (about a 5% increase), and the cultural opportunities are overwhelming. The weather is better, the landscape is gorgeous (there's a reason why Asheville was the retreat of New York's monied set), and we're just a couple hours from the beach. All that's worth a little belt tightening.

OK, more GSP work tomorrow. Maybe a better outlook on the future. Maybe a better set of thoughts about EKU.

All the hullabaloo (profblog)

So Kevin comes into my office this morning, claiming he wishes he could sing, because he'd be singing, "Let's go out, in a blaze of glory." Yeah, I was on the front page of the student paper today, with the headline, Professor Leaving Because of Low Pay. Needless to say, this didn't endear me much with the administration in the department. But that's not all of it. Even the weekly editorial was about this issue. I did, however, receive about a dozen emails from faculty who are glad that someone finally spoke up in public about this issue. It doesn't do me any good, but maybe it'll help those who are stuck at Eastern.

Don't get me wrong; I love the school, I love my job, I love my colleagues, and I especially love the students. I do, as the new president is so fond of saying, have a passion for this place. But the administration has decided that faculty retention isn't important, so we're getting doubly shafted, through both hiring in above and the failure to even nod at our benchmark institutions for faculty salaries.

I've also heard from many current and former students about this. Their comments through this have been sustaining; they recognize the situation for what it is, not merely a matter of economics, but a matter of (as members of the Societatis Jesu would call it) systemic evil. We'll fix one problem, low faculty starting salaries, by, for all intents and purposes, ignoring the larger one of low salaries across the board when compared to our benchmarks. And we'll create a new problem, that of salary inversions (I just participated in a search where the new PhD was to be offered more that I'm making with five years here, tenure and promotion -- turns out that the embarrassment factor was too high, so they lowballed her -- she'll be one of the disgruntled in a year or two). Nevertheless, the Assistant Profs in English are all being royally screwed in this hiring process. When we turn to the administration for answers, we're told one of two things, "You should see what I made when I started," or, more commonly, "If you want a raise, get another job." The sympathy just oozes out of their pores.

I hope that the junior faculty strike while the iron is hot, and ask the administration what's being done for them. The answer will be, of course, that they'll just have to take their lumps, shut up and teach, be good soldiers, and be "team players." But they should get a chance to hear this publicly, to hear declared that their service is worth less than nothing.

I'd like to be around to hear that, but I just can't afford it.

Consider me gone (profblog)

Amanda and I are leaving town, blowing Richmond for Greenville, South Carolina. She's been offered a position with the Greenville School District, and I'm looking for work down there. As I see it, I could have spent five more years whining about money, never seeing anything like equity adjustments, and eventually having new people being hired in above me (which will happen this year, to all Assistant Profs and a couple Associate Profs in English -- this is truly an example of systemic evil, created and perpetrated by those who don't feel the sting of the situation, who, whenever questioned about money, say that we should have seen what they made when they started -- a specious argument), or I could get out now, find something else where the upside is better, and hope for the best there. So I'm looking at part-time work so far, and maybe something full-time will come through. If it doesn't, I can tech write for a year.

I have heard from many faculty members and students that they are upset about my leaving. I've even heard from two deans about this. I have heard comments like, "You're doing what we all should have done," and "Now maybe they'll do something about salaries," and "What will we do without you?" I'm not worrying too much about the answer to that last question -- they'll muddle through as they did before, because, as the institution is showing, we're all just cogs in the great machine, easily replaced and soon forgotten. Oh, I was offered sweeteners to say, but they both involved working in administration, something I'd like not to do. It's a shame that good teachers, in order to make decent money, have to give up teaching for administration. One position would have been quite a coup, but it's work I didn't want to do. The other position was very tempting, working with great people for a great cause, but it didn't really address the issues that have let me leave: the practice of hiring in above without a funded plan for faculty equity, and the lack of a funded plan for moving meritorious teachers to 100% of benchmark CUPA data. If either of these things happen within the next five years at EKU, I'll be terribly surprised.

I hope this gets the junior faculty talking, forcing the administration to put up or shut up. It took the University 18 months to figure out how to spend 50k in salary adjustments (I saw a whopping $600 out of that). How long do you think it will take to determine how to spend something that will really make a difference? The English Department alone needs over double that to address the issues of benchmarking and equity. It's a shame, because many good people there don't have the opportunity to leave, so they're locked in to a system that in good conscience I can't deal with any more.

It's scary, heading for SC without a tenure-track job, giving up tenure and a place where I can do good work for the unknowns that will surely follow. But wherever I get work I will advance, and will enjoy my job, perhaps in a different way. I'll miss the people here, the fellow faculty who have become friends, the students who keep in touch, the staff members who work so hard for so little pay. But I won't miss the callousness, the good-old-boy networking, the offhand praising of incompetence and mediocrity that has become the Eastern Way.

That toddling town (profblog)

Just back from Chicago, and the CCCC. It's much better than the MLA conference, because the people aren't as pretentious. I didn't hear the standard, "I know this obscure theorist" discussions that I'm so familiar with from MLA. Amanda says that the bulk of composition professors in the U.S. are middle-aged white women. If this conference was true to the demographic, she's right on the money. My paper went well, I think, with great questions fronm the audience, and another really good presenter. Unfortunately, David Elias was unable to make the trip, so I read his paper, too.

Chicago is a great city. We got to see the Art Institute, where Amanda finally saw my favorite works there, Cornell's boxes. Then we were off to the Adler Planetarium, where our trip was far too short. We saw a show there, but as soon as it was over, the Planetarium closed. So my trip to the gift shop was off, which was a real bummer. Amanda scored quite a bit of stuff in the Art Institute gift shop, but I held myself in abeyance until the Adler because I was looking for some cool new posters. Oh well, such is life. We did, however, get into a great impromptu discussion with two barflies who worked at Tower Records. One turned around when I commented on the American edit of "Brown Eyed Girl" that he had just played on the jukebox, and the other came to "save" us from the first and engaged in a rousing defense of Bukowski's work. I told him he was preaching to the choir on that score.

Now it's back to the grind, the week after Spring Break, and school resumes again. It turns out that this may be my last semester here. Amanda got very good vibes from the interviews she had in South Carolina, and I can make more money adjuncting there than I can as an Associate Professor here. Just what I thought. We'll see. First she has to get an offer from one of those places, then I'd have to chuck it all in here. Believe me, it won't be the money that holds me here.

Avoiding grading (profblog)

When you're as deep into grading avoidance as I am right now, anything sounds good, even downloading india.arie mp3s and listening to bootleg Tenacious D stuff. I've been at it for a while today, while a stack of papers stares at me from the dining room (that's right, they can stare through walls, and you can feel the resentment in them as it bores into your back).

If it weren't for grading, this would be a great job. I think every prof, somewhere in every semester, reaches the end of the rope, and gets into grading avoidance. Usually that happens toward the end of the 15 weeks, so you can just push on through and get done, despite the pain of reading yet one more set of bad papers. However, this semester I've got it bad. It's not even spring break yet, and I'm already burnt. I'll get them back to the students tomorrow, but between now and then will be about ten hours of pain. It's stuff like this that makes me envy the people at R1 institutions, with 2/2 teachings contracts. Of course, I'd have to put out a national article every year, something slightly less onerous than grading, but then again, who am I kidding? I'd never even make the first cut for a position like that.

I think one of the reasons why I am so out of grading is this job search. Amanda has a series of interviews over spring break (all in South Carolina, a place I could really enjoy), and we've been talking about what to do if she gets an offer there. I think she'l really like it, and I don't want to do the typical academic couple thing of being apart for a year, so I think I might take a year's leave from EKU next year and look into positions in SC. Amanda thinks that I'd be better off in a high school, where I won't have to do all this non-compensated stuff like web design and committee work and CCSA and tech writing. Maybe there's something to that, but I've only got the seed in my mind so far -- I'll need to think about it for a while before I make a decision.

Ars Bachelorum (profblog)

Amanda is leaving town for a couple days and I'll be baching it. I think there's an art to it; not something you might get a degree in, but something that you need to excel in to survive. When I first came to Kentucky, I didn't really have the chops to be a bachelor. My life was like the blood in the water that sharks smell. And those sharks were the non-traditional students, those with three kids and an abusive husband that they were leaving behind by coming to school to create a better life. I must have been set up and scammed a dozen times that first year, singly and in tandem, with kids on hip and with kids at home, with kids in class and with kids in the office. These blandishments weren't difficult to turn down; I don't think I'm mature enough to take care of myself, let alone a ready-made family.

So now being the bachelor is easy, with the help of Manly Tips for Bachelor Living and Buck Bangalore.

I'll be spending most of the weekend doing work for the Governor's Scholars Program, so I'll be too busy to enjoy being alone for a while. I've got two stacks of papers to grade and some other academic work, too, so even when I'm home, I'll be swamped. I've still got a set of reviews to get out, because I spent last weekend doing EKU's Quick Recall tournament all day Saturday, then attended a Sunday morning meeting for GSP, then cooked for Sigma Tau Delta and the Association of English majors on Sunday afternoon and evening. I was pretty busy.

Non-mainstream media (profblog)

I've been spending a lot of time online lately looking for alternative news sources. I've found some good ones like Alternet and Yellow Times, but there are some really bad sites out there, too.

This article about unions just blew my mind. Using this tragedy to push the standard pro-big-business-screw-everyone-who-isn't-white-because-all-those-people-choose-to-be-poor is beneath even the Republicans. When Reagan took office in 80, the first thing he did was smash the Air Traffic Controllers union. The first thing I did was go out and have a PATCO hat made, just like the ones I saw them wearing on television. It was a miserable, dirty, underhanded thing for him to do, and now, 22 years later, his little buddy's little buddy is doing the same. Besides violating the policy of checks and balances that our government is founded upon, and besides ignoring the results of an independent study, this move is a typical Ashcroftian/Orwellian technique that will allow the ascendancy to remain so at the expense of the rest of us.

I usually get incoherent when I talk about politics, believing as I do that we have a moral responsibility to our neighbors (something the Christian Right, huge backers of the Republicans, doesn't seem to understand, despite all their talk about faith-based initiatives). The Republicans define "neighbor" as, "anyone who looks like me." Fine and dandy if you're a white middle-class bigot, but you're screwed if you're not.

My grandmother put it best many years ago. "Joseph," she said, "I'll tell you the difference between Democrats and Republicans." I listened attentively, because she was a great politico. "Republicans will steal from you." I nodded as if I understood. "And Democrats will steal from you, too." I looked a little puzzled. "But the Democrats, they'll give you a little back." It was her turn to nod.

The marriage thing (profblog)

Today I'll write about marriage, because this morning my wife read this blog for the first time and commented that I spend too much time talking about money. I acknowledged that I do so, but offered in my defense the fact that I even admitted as much here. She wasn't impressed. So I did a quick little web tour on marriages, and came up with a couple interesting things. To begin, almost every site about marriage talks wants to sell you something, be it advice or a device, that will keep your marriage happy. Yes, I think the web is the first place I'd look if Amanda and I were on the rocks. Who better than an anonymous figure with a bad site designer and a paypal account to help me out with the most important thing in my life?

A Relationship Quiz About Marriage
While the site is selling a seminar that will make you "divorceproof," the quiz is interesting. Actually, it's mostly pretty frightening, but I'm not one to stay with the national trends too long.

Marriagebuilders.com
I think it's interesting that this site claims it is "the #1 infidelity support site on the internet. Why? Because we have more experience helping couples successfully recover from infidelity than anyone else. And our information and support forum are free." Yikes. I guess it's a pronouncement on the state of marriage today. It's disappointing.

About.com on Marriage
There appears to be a good deal of information here, but the banner ad above it is for a private investigator, one who will help you find out if your spouse is cheating on you. Great. Let me just peruse the top ten ways to sustain my life-long commitment, while I sneak a little peekaloo to see if she's stepping out behind my back. Isn't one of those top ten ways trust?

More Quizzes from the Couple Place
Hey, at least these are fun. They take the sting out of the statistics that say you might as well flip a coin on your wedding day to determine if you'll stay together.

Super Bowl Sunday (profblog)

Yeah, like this is the only blog to use that opener today. Actually, I probably won't watch the game because I'm two sets of reviews and two stacks of papers behind. I've spent the day checking out a great site, Alternet. Here's what they say they do: "At AlterNet.org, we are doing something about information overload and corporate media irresponsibility. Our website is designed to serve as your 'online helper,' leading individuals, policy professionals and journalists alike to sources for information and insight. There is a word for this role. It is an 'infomediary.'" It looks like a great site, with nice links and provocative stuff.

So I was thinking this morning about EKU and money (like you could get away with a post that didn't dwell on this), and realized that, with the English Department's new commitment to hire people at market value, they're doing a good thing for themselves politically. They're creating a ghetto of disgruntlement, settled between the senior faculty, who come the closest to being satisfied with their salaries (is anyone, anywhere, really satisfied with what they make?), and the newest of the junior faculty, who will actully be making more money than us, pulling down what the market says they should be making. Bracketing us on both sides, we're far easier to ignore, or just wring hands and exclaim, "we'd really like to do something, but there's nothing we can do." I've got some great plans, all budgeted out, but nobody is asking.

I spent yesterday interviewing candidates for Governor's Scholars in Louisville. I got sick on the way home, and had to pull over at a damn rest stop to puke. It's the same old same old, a bad headache, then nausea, then feeling like I've got the flu for about 15 minutes, then tossing, then feeling better except for the headache. This has been pretty regular for a while now; maybe it's migraines or something like that. Hell, if I actually trusted my doctor I'd see her, but I think I need a new primary care physician.

Swapping music files (profblog)

I guess the only reason I stay online many nights is to download music files. Tonight is no different, as a dozen or so creep their way through the ether to my collection and I play games, read news, and in general avoid all my work (I've got two sets of papers to grade, plus two sets of music reviews due). I know that there's a battle raging about this, with people saying "information seeks to be free" and others saying "I need my gouge." I guess I actually side with the people who need their gouge, but I down stuff anyway. I think that there is such a thing as copyright, and people should be given just compensation for their work. However (and maybe this is easier to see with warez rather than music), I just don't want to give money to the evil empire, be it Microsoft or Virgin Records. So I'll continue to swap files (although I down much more than I up), but I won't feel good about it until I think, "I can burn yet another cd of my faves." In fact, the only thing I find onerous is the slow down times on this dialup. So let's get this straight (bless me father, for I have sinned): I know it's wrong to download these files, but the good of not paying for them outweighs the bad of any moral qualms I have about the project. I'd like to think I'm more enlightened than that, but I'm not. Of course, the ramifications of getting caught are severe, but I'm willing to take that risk. I'm a two-bit copyright thief; there are much bigger pirates than me.

I'm also advising a research panel in exo-, paleo-, and astrobiology. Consequently, I've been spending a lot of time on sites like Sky and Telescope, Astronomy.com, and Space.com. They're good compendiums of info about all things out there. While I'm at it, I might just learn about the wonderful scope that Amanda bought me a few years back. I'm still looking for star parties in the area, but there seems to be nothing.

The Steelers game (profblog)

Right now we're in the beginning of the fourth quarter of the AFC playoff game, and New England just lost a challenge. The Steelers are still down, but this could be a good close one at the end. It's different, being here in Kentucky when the Steelers are playing. I work with one person from Pittsburgh, and she's having a grand time this season. To be honest, I haven't caught any game except the one my brother took me to when I was in the Burgh. Nevertheless, I can say that I'm a serious fan. I never lost faith in Kordell, even durin gthe past two years. I guess I never lose faith in any of the Burgh teams, even when I know they'll lose.

The semester proceeds apace. The comp classes are OK, and the poetry class is going well. Our Allyn and Bacon sales rep is moving into the technical side of the business, so I'm hoping for better responses from their tech people, especially with their web stuff that I use in the comp classes. I am in the process of completing my Report of Professional Activity and Development (RPAD), which the University uses to determine merit pay. Of course, there will probably be no merit pay both this year and the next, and if there it is will be 1% or so. Typical EKU; minimal stuff being done to retain faculty. I know I'm just the tip of the faculty exodus iceberg. So I'm doing this RPAD, where I'll spend a few hours detailing my activities instead of actually doing something productive. Let's see, if I get the maximum merit possible, and there's actually merit money this year, I might see an extra five bucks in every paycheck for this work. Yeah, that's incentive, EKU style.

Love that poetry (profblog)

So this modern poetry class is going swimmingly. Today we did Dickinson, which was OK. I'm not a big Emily fan (I think there are two kinds of poetry lovers int he world, Emily lovers and Walt Lovers. I'm a Walt lover.), but I enjoyed the poems nevertheless. Thursday is Hopkins, whom I can do in my sleep. Something about the Jesuit training makes him easy for me.

Anyhow, I'm still waiting to hear from schools, although I am preparing more applications. The Chronicle online has been berry berry good to me. Lunch with the Provost on Friday was heartening, but he said what I thought he would; there's no cash available, and even if there were, fixing the broken salary structure here is not a one-year project. Many people will be looking at continuing years of salaries under their market value. The Provost let me know that he wishes I would stay, but he certainly understand the need to improve myself professionally. One thing he did suggest was an administrative internship for a year. This would give me a chance to see if I could do that kind of work. I think workign with the Governor's Scholars Program this summer will also provide me with such an opportunity.

The office is finally through its flux. The couch is gone, as is a metal bookcase. In their place is a beautfil, huge, wood bookcase that now takes up almost a whole wall. It's great to get more of my books organized. Now I just need to get myself a two-seater couch for the office and things will be perfect. I had to rearrange all the posters and stuff, because of the wall space I lost, but it's all done now and looks very spiffy.

The semester starts (profblog)

OK, it's now two days down in the new semester, and I've met each class once. The comp classes will be the usual grind, with students already trying to get over on the course. Won't happen. The modern poetry course looks great, although I did a quick poll of the class and found out that the most favored poet that we are covering this semester is Plath. Don't get me wrong; if you're going for the confessional school she's the best. But somehow she influences the forests of drivel that these teenage shoegazers call poetry, and I can never forgive her for that. Some lonely sentimental overly romantic goth reads Plath, and figures that if he or she just gushes out feelings on the page, fills it with rancor or bitterness or self-pity, that it's poetry. Wrong.

I've spent most of my time on campus today setting up other people's computers for networked printing. One colleague asked me if I was getting release time to do this. I just laughed and told her to talk to the chair. Right, like I'd get release time. Hell, I asked three times this semester for release time that was coming to me and didn't get it. Oh well, I'll bank it. If I'm here next year, I'll take it. If not, consider it a donation for the cause.

One new site to look at: The Voice of the Shuttle has been redone, and it now looks as good as it works. It used to have a kind of homespun charm, but now it appears super-efficient and still has the best humanities links out there.

Frankfort (profblog)

Did the Posters at the Capitol thing yesterday. What a joke. We set up and stood around for hours, and the governor didn't have time to see any of the work (he only took the time for two group photos, which of course made it look like he was an integral part of the whole thing -- politics at its finest). The only time the legislators walked by was when everyone was supposed to be listening to Gordon Davies, the god of higher ed in the commonwealth, give a speech. So of course no one was around to explain any of their work to the representatives, except my students and I, who were waiting to get their pictures taken with the University's new president. In the end, as the topper on the day, she never showed for the photo, so the students didn't get their pictures taken with her. Great.

One of the students and I went to see the general assembly in action, and it was a typical legislative day. After getting started an hour late, we listened to some high school girl sing "God Bless America," then heard about 5 minutes of reporting from the clerk, then the speaker suspended the rules and held a meeting in his office. This meeting was only supposed to last 10 minutes. After 15 minutes, we left. Of course, the assembly never reconvened for the rest of the day. Their schedule was to be there until 6, then take an hour, then hear the governor's "state of the commonwealth" speech at 7. Instead, they knocked off at 3:30, having done absolutely nothing for the day. The student was amazed that, even when the clerk was reading his reports, nobody was paying any attention. There were private discussions, photos, and general self-serving behavior throughout the room. EKU's new president was scheduled to speak, but she was mightily dissed, as all she could do was pose at the damn speaker's podium for pictures.

Two things you should never see being made -- sausages and laws.

And guess what these guys (and they are predominantly guys, and they are overwhelmingly white) make? Much more than they deserve, working 90 days every two years.

I did it (profblog)

Well, I finally wrote to the Provost, to tell him of my seeking a new position. I told him that I knew that he couldn't afford, either economically or politically, to match what I would be offered anywhere else. He understood that, thanked me, and wants to meet to talk about my professional future. Will he tell me that money is coming, to just hang on a while longer? I'm not sure. I know that EKU had 50k to spend on faculty adjustments this year, and I got less than 700 of it. I'm looking at positions that will raise me over 10k, so I know that Mike can't come up with that kind of scratch. As I've said before, it's been 5 years and a promotion, and I still can't make what the average college grad makes. Pitiful. And pitiful me for staying here for so long, watching bad move after bad move, hoping against hope for something different.

Anyway, the semester starts next week. I've got two comps and one modern poetry. The comps will be onerous, but what can you do? Hopefully I'll be gone for a god deal of the semester, doing on-campus interviews. I know that I'm going to at least three conferences, and at one of those I'll accept an award for innovation and excellence in teaching. That should certainly help in the job search.

So here's my new favorite site: fark.com. This place compiles the news, all the strange stuff that slips between the cracks. It's as informative as slashdot, but doesn't take itself or the news so seriously. Check it out.

Surgery -- drugs (profblog)

It looks like my surgery went well. I'm able to get around without crutches (although I'll probably need them if I go out of the house), there's not too much bleeding at the site, and the drugs they gave me are pretty good. Not vike good or OC good, but good nonetheless.

I'm looking at a weekend of watching DVDs and reading and getting online for as long as my leg can stand the dependent position. The area is looking at 3 to 6 inches or more on Sunday. I love the runs on bread and milk, as if nothing but gruel will do when you're snowed in. I imagine that Krogers will be jammed tomorrow, with everyone loading up just in case we can't get to the store for, ohmygod, three days.

I've got an appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday and that Poster thing in Frankfort on Wednesday, so I'm hopin gthe snow will go away soon. Off to more drugs and TV and lounging. It's a tough life.

New Year's Eve (profblog)

Well, it's the end of the year, time for everyone to assess, make resolutions, talk about how their lives have changed and how 9.11 has made them a better person, and get sappy and melancholy over lost opportunities. Me, I'm no different, but I'll spare you the self-pity or martyr pie.

New Orleans went very well. It looks like I'll get an on-campus interview at a place that looks much better than I originally thought it would. This time next year I could be on the beach. I got to spend a lot of time with Steve and his clan, and the J-man and his clan. We hit the Audubon Zoo (taking the St. Charles Trolley right past where I used to live) and the Aquarium. We also hit the River Walk and the French Market. I enjoyed it all, even if the walking was a bit much for my soon-to-be-opped knee. The food was great. Steve's sister Sally has been in the city for about 6 years now, so we were able to hit some great local spots out of the Quarter or the Market District. It was nice to be with someone in the know. Steve's parents were also there, and we made a great large group.

I stayed in the hotel that was built on the spot where the book A Conferederacy of Dunces starts. Since it's one of the funniest things I've ever read (and one of my faves), I really appreciated the statue of Ignatius Reilly they had on the sidewalk on Canal Street and the shop window they had featuring his pyloric valve. Excellent -- a good tribute that was witty in its own right. However, the hotel (the Chateau Sonesta) was outrageous. I can't believe that people would pay $475 per night for nothing more than a large boxy room with a small television and carpet that was wet. I got it for $130 per night, and it was way too much even at that price. However, I was right in the Quarter, on Canal, two blocks from Bourbon, and pretty centrally located. I also hit a used book store a few blocks away for a couple more books of poetry, which go nicely with my coup of about 5 Harry Crews novels for 3 bucks each in Pittsburgh. Man, people don't know what they're doing.

For Corey (profblog)

OK, It's been a long time since I've updated this blog, but here goes. Right now I should be on a plane for New Orleans, where I'm interviewing for positions at other institutions. I should be, but am instead at home, doing this, because Northwest Airlines cancelled the flight and could only get me out later today. Seven hours later today. This is, of course, after I was at the airport at 5 am, even before their damn ticket counter was open. And get this -- even though I haven't even been anywhere -- they lost my damn luggage. Now how the hell can you do that?

I figure that I'm still "in play" at 16 other schools. Of course, all those won't pan out, but I think I can get at least four or five interviews. We'll see. I'm also trying to circumvent the whole offer-counteroffer process by writing directly to the Provost, telling him that I need to make more money. EKU has actually come though for me, though. They're boosting my salary by a whopping $671 dollars per year. This puts me at close to 78% of what a comparable associate professor would make at our benchmark institutions. And for this, of course, I'm grateful, because the EKU way is to look out for me. They talk about their commitment to faculty retention, but they've got nothing but an insult to show for it.

Actually, the EKU way seems to be to do everything for the cheapest possible price. Well, they can't get me that way any longer. I'll keep on doing this, looking for work at another place, until either EKU comes up with the cash or I end up somewhere else. I have the feeling that EKU will not offer me anything different than what they already have, so I'll probably be posting here from somewhere else come September.

Hey, tomorrow is my birthday. I am officially old. I've been unofficially old for years, but this one cements it.