Nicky's birthday (i take)

Today is my little brother's birthday. He's 40. It's weird that you can be that old, and still not feel like you're as old as all your friends who are 40. My mother was 40 when she had me (Dad was 30). I'm 42, and I still feel like I did when I was 30. Not too old, but definately not young any more. When I teach "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" I always ask the students to tell me how old Prufock is. I used to laugh when they'd tell me he's 35 or 40. Now I wince, thinking that this must be middle age, to think you're younger than you really are.

I guess all of us, Mary too (she's 38 now), feel the same way. I don't see us growing older, just growing up and accepting more responsibilities. It wasn't just yesterday when we were young, and I wouldn't go back to that time, knowing what I know now. Imagine that, to have the knowledge of a 40-year-old and only be 18. That's more of a nightmare than going through adolescence the first time. I know many people who believe that their best days were in high school or college, and I really feel sad for them. They peaked so early, and they must recognize that everything has been downhill since then. What gets them out of bed in the morning? I mean, how could you face the day, knowing that it'll never be as good as something in your memory? I tell my students that if your best day isn't tomorrow, you should just shoot yourself today and spare yourself the disapointment that you life will inevitably be.

Sometimes I think about the future, about having a kid now, about being 60 when that kid is 18 (and those numbers don't even work any more -- I'll be older). And then I consider my employment situation, and wonder how long this part-timing will go on. Amanda and I are discussing rolling over my retirement package from EKU, and it's weird to think that in 18 years I'll be 60. How long will I work? How long will I be under-employed? What about kids? How will Amanda change? What other changes will those years hold?

Total meltdown (i take)

I've just spent the whole day trying to recover this computer, with the help of Wendell, the computer god. Now it looks like I've got it licked. When I booted up this morning, there was nothing but a black screen. I tried a few moves, and found that I could only run programs from the task manager, but I couldn't perform any Windows functions. It was a nightmare. I could see that my data was still there, but everything else was dead.

Almost three hours into what I hoped would be a five-minute call to Wendell, he figured that the registry melted down at such a level that the kernel couldn't even recognize itself. So I had to do a reinstall of Win2k, which means I've had to reinstall all programs, too. Fortunately, as Foghorn Leghorn says, I keep my feathers numbered for just such emergencies. I'm hitting the web and downloading updates, checking through my downloaded files to see what's essential, and pulling out the cds when I have to.

Fortunately, I wasn't completely pulling my hair out, because I knew that all our important data was burned to a cd a bit back. Man, I'm not a big one for backups, but this peace of mind was essential today.

Once again, Wendell proves his worth, talking me through all this. Once again, I see just how little I know about this machine. I may be a power user, especially when compared to most academics, but I'm a long way from the IT guy I used to be.

Real fighting (i take)

Today the real fighting begins. "Stern" resistance. "Heavy" resistance. "Republican Guard with resolve." All of that means real casualties, real American men and women dying to promote an imperialist agenda. I saw one bereaved father last night ask George Bush to take a good look at a picture of his son. The NY Times gave it short shrift, because it doesn't jive with their jingoism: "Friends and neighbors of Staff Sgt. Kendall Damon Watersbey, 29, who has a 10-year-old son, sobbed in the streets of his northeast Baltimore neighborhood, according to WBAL-TV. 'I want President Bush to get a good look at this, really good look here,' his father, Michael, said, holding up a picture of the dead marine. 'This is the only son I had, only son.'"

Only one member of both houses of congress has a son or daughter in the military. No one on Bush's senior staff has a child in the services. Instead, they're pulling a sleight of hand about their involvement with Enron, Halliburton, and other corporate evil-doers, and killing other people's kids to do it. Pay no attention to the criminals behind the curtain; watch us blow things up instead. And if some poor person has to die to draw your interest elsewhere, well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

So far, budget analysts estimate, a little over 24 hours of war has cost the US 1.1 trillion dollars. But I hope people start paying attention to the human cost of this war, what it will do to us as a nation. We have squandered our morality for something that will benefit only the rich. And the children of the poor will provide this opportunity for them.

This site, by cyberjornalist.net, seems to be the best collection of links to the real war news. The NY Times' rolling over on this sickens me. You used to be able to count on them for decent coverage, but now they're no better than Fox News. The truth is out there; we just won't get it from the US media.

All war, all the time (i take)

I can turn on CNN at any time and get a live update on the war. I can hit their web site and get a rolling body count, interactive maps, military analysis, video feeds (if I'm willing to subscribe), live pictures from Baghdad, and administration talkin gheads justifying their existence. What I can't get is our admission that we will, if we deem it necessary, use chemical weapons against the Iraqis.

This is, of course, the ultimate in hypocrisy. But it proves my point about the shift in American foreign policy under Rove, I mean Bush. Might makes right. That's all there is to it. We couch it in different terms, but when push comes to shove, we support a double standard (there's the rest of the world, then there's us) because we have the strength to do so. Rove/Bush knows that the American military is a 500-pound gorilla, and the only 500-pound gorilla. So we can do what we want. There is no more rule of law, as Scalia admitted last week, when he claimed that he's in favor of curtailing the rights of American citizens during wartime. He was receiving a Free Speech Award in Cleveland, but he barred the broadcast media from attending the event (Is he smart enough to see the irony in this? I'm not sure.). When questioned by members of approved media outlets, he said that Americans enjoy far more rights than are constitutionally guaranteed them, and that he would be willing to cut back to a constitutional minimum for security reasons.

At least there are decent people out there. But who will hear such a scathing condemnation? He'll just be accused of anti-Americanism, which will, of course, be ironic. But American has a tin ear for hearing such things right now.

Hijacking the conversation (i take)

There was just some furor at my old school about anti-war and pro-troops protestors clashing. To be fair, I should say it's anti-war versus pro-war protestors, because that's really what it boils down to. What caught my eye was a picture of a girl pointing to her engagement ring, given to her by her affianced man in Kuwait, confronting a group of anti-war protestors. She equated being against this war with being against her husband-to-be. There was also an instance of one anti-anti-war man rushing through the anti-war protestors, ripping up their signs. Of course, the Public Safety office saw no need to control him at all.

Now, how many of you didn't like that move I made up there, to equate pro-troop with pro-war? Yes, it's a bad argumentative strategy, and, if you grant me that premise, I've effectively hijacked the conversation through this switch. This move, however, is exactly what the media and talk radio and other sources have done. It's unpatriotic to be against the necessary collateral damage in such an attack. It's anti-American to support the collective wisdom of the United Nations. It's treason to protest against this illegal action.

Why do we let them get away with it? I think it's because we fall prey to their fallacies. We're bedazzled by their rhetoric, or cowed by their volume, and just give in. We may take the moral high ground in expressing our doubts about the goodness of Hussein, and when we do, we're lost. If we admit to doubt, if we admit to not having all the answers, but knowing that this one can't be the right one, we've lost the argument, and we've lost the media. When I think of what winning this fight would cost me, morally, I don't feel so bad. But when I see these idiots getting face time and espousing idiocy I wish I had fewer qualms about using their tactics against them.

The dogs of (i take)

Well, we'll probably start the invasion, and eventual military occupation of Iraq sometime very soon. Bush will speak tonight, and I won't listen (I'll be teaching). But the rest of the world will be listening, and watching us do this alone (or maybe with Tony Blair in a cheerleader's uniform). And the fact that we'll do this alone, without those pesky other nations who are united against us, just means that we won't have to make any concessions to power-sharing when the military government we set in place in Baghdad takes over.

When you boil it all down, I really can't believe that killing people, especially to remove one leader, is a viable alternative. Never was, never will be. Too much money and material expended on too focused a target. But it's obvious that this was has other motives behind it. Our eventual attack upon Iran is obvious. Bush's sleight-of-hand about the economy is also obvious. When the Saudis kick us out, will we go after them for possessing WMD, or will we still send them aid, even though they are the most repressive regime in the area? Hey, they're our buddies, right? They can't be bad, because we like them. Just like we liked Pinochet. Just like we liked Strosser.

But the polls keep on saying that Americans support this. For me, this is the ultimate in bread and circuses. It's the biggest circus possible, full of bells ands whistles. Big media will play the Bush game, and show us just what he wants us to see: American technology killing people far away, people whose leader threatens our way of life. So we'll keep the world safe for democracy by killing women and children, by killing even combatants that we have no quarrel with (Bush has claimed that we have no quarrel with the sovreignity of Iraq, only with its leader). So instead of assassination as a tool of statecraft, we offer the destruction of a culture as such a tool.

To question the need for this war is, according to the national tenor, unpatriotic. Isn't that what Reagan claimed when he union-busted PATCO? And isn't that what Jefferson was being when he questioned the crown?

Annual evaluations (i take)

USCS is in the process of annual evaluations. That's when faculty produce fat reports about what they've been up to for the year. It's a mass of paper for the chair and any committee that reads them all. But is it worth it?

I used to joke that I would spend more time documenting what I did than actually doing anything worth documenting. While that's a stretch, I know that my best-laid plans to keep track of all service, scholarship, and teaching activities usually spun out of control about midway through the first semester, so I spent a frantic week before evals were due every year, trying to reconstruct what I had been doing. I'm sure that I missed a lot of stuff I did, gave others short shrift, and probably left a lot of activities undocumented. Such is life: you're either busy with it, or busy taking notes on it. As an adjunct, I'm spared the report-writing, but I'm also spared any activity worth documenting in detail.

As I expected, I heard tales of excess about what people presented for their annual reviews: copies of emails, thank-you notes, stuff like that. The chair spoke of someone who wheeled in a full four-drawer filing cabinet for his or her tenure application. That's just uncalled for. Have some respect for the Promotion and Tenure Committee members who have to sort through all this stuff, write a report, and then defend their decision at the college and university levels.

But the real problem here is the fact that anyone, and I do mean anyone, can make himself or herself look good on paper. This is especially true of English profs, who teach the ability to argue effectively. Since we know what everything will say, and how every faculty member paints himself or herself as indispensible to the institution, let's just agree that this is our starting point, and move on from there. For annual evaluation, let's offer up a bulleted list, with no explanations, no narrative, no excess wind. If explanations are necessary, they should be done in a meeting with the committee, and it is only there that supporting documentation should be produced. I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of people will get by, and get approved, on the strength of just their bulleted lists. They've saved themselves gobs of time, saved the committee a ton of work, and allowed us all to get on with our core business, educating people.

Free and good (i take)

I admit it; I download mp3s all the time. I have recording music people telling me it's a crime. I have artists telling me I'm stealing money from them. But then I read that the average band, after they've sold 250,000 records, ends up owing its record company over a million dollars. So don't tell me that I'm taking food from anyone's table. I'm not letting a billionaire get any more richer. When they get a decent pricing structure for cds, something without a 1000% markup, then I'll think about buying pop cds again.

But I don't do the same for software. There are some great free programs out there, and I use them. They're usually smaller, with less bloat, and more stable that something from, say, Microsoft.

Many of the programs below are strange because they pack so much value into something that's free. It's something the music industry could learn. Here's an example of what I mean: Two weeks ago I was stopped by a cop in a small town in South Carolina, on my daily commute to and from work. He told me that I was doing 58 in a 40 zone. I know I was speeding, but it wasn't that by that much. He asked me if I traveled this route often, and I told him I was on this road twice a day. He asked me, nicely, to remember the next time to just keep it down, and he let me go. Now, every time I drive through that town, no matter how late I am, I do the speed limit, because this guy was so nice. If he had ticketed me, I'd be pissed every time I drove through there, and would keep on speeding. Now, however, I do 40, and think kindly of being let off by the nice guy who did me a kind turn.

Here's some good stuff:

Notetab Light

This is a great editor for html, or for ripping text from the web and cleaning it up before you put it into a full-featured word processor. It's fast-loading, with a great interface, the ability to open many files at once, and good menus and insert lists. I originally got it as a replacement for the windows notepad, but now I use it for a lot more.

Irfanview

Here's a great free pic viewer, with lots of options. Again, it's fast, small, and reliable. I use it as the system default for viewing pix. I used to use ACDSee, but now they're charging and nagging. None of that from Irfanview.

Gimp

I was a bit intimidated by this one at first. I have grown up with Photoshop as my big pic editor, so switching was odd. Unlike many other products, it doesn't try to look like Photoshop. But it does pretty much the same stuff. The learning curve is steep, and some functions are deep into menus, but anything that does this much takes a while to come to grips with.

Trillian

This all-in-one chat client is pretty hot. It compiles all your chat clients into one interface. I've got MSN, IRC, AIM, Yahoo, and ICQ access. Now I run them all under trillian. Small footprint, clean interface, pretty sweet.

Mozilla and Opera

Two good browsers. Opera is fast, very fast. But you give up some real estate on the screen for a banner ad (not too intrusive; it's in the toolbar). Mozilla is pretty sweet, and totally free. With all the holes in IE, I use these as much as I can.

TinyApps and Freeware Home

These are the places I hit the most often looking for new apps. Tinyapps specializes in just what its name says: small, very small applications, most of them free. Freeware Home runs a nice site, updated every weekday, with vigilance about things like browser hijacking and adware.

The war frenzy (i take)

Is war a foregone conclusion? It certainly seems so, given the rhetoric I'm hearing not just from Washington, but from many media outlets. I guess I expect such sabre-rattling from W, as a way to keep our attention focused on anything but the absolute mess he's made of the economy, or the fact that our trade deficit, and the federal deficit, will grow ever-larger under his regime. But I don't expect it from radio personalities or talking heads on TV. And in the end, I think they're the ones who do the most harm, by waving this red flag under the public's noses.

How much does Washington affect my day-to-day life? In all honesty, not much. I mean, gas prices are higher, I can't get gainful full-time employment, and my retirement is worth less than a third of what it was worth three years ago. But all those things would probably have happened no matter whose finger was on the button. Dems, GOPs, it really makes little difference. And I think the same is true for most U.S. citizens. But I had to listen today to some open letter that Charlie Daniels sent to the "Hollywood people," read by some radio personality who wouldn't know an original thought if it actually strcuk one of the three brain cells he had in his head. And then he opens up the phone lines, so everyone can call in and jump on his pro-war bandwagon. All because Charlie Daniels, that intellectual giant, that man who has done more research than all other washed-up celebrities, wrote a whiney letter to cop some fame. Of course, he knows the score. Hussein is bad because he says so, because our leaders say so. And therefore we must go over there and get him. The leap of logic that gets from the first sentence back there to the next one just blows my mind.

By that same token, Sharon is bad, because our leaders say so. But we don't go get him. In fact, no one mentions him at all. We just keep on sliding him $3,000,000,000 (that's three billion dollars) a year, and cluck unapprovingly when the next batch of kids are killed. And Fidel Castro must be bad, because our leaders say so. But we don't get him. In fact, we lease land from him, and use his island as a convenient place, off our soil and away from our press, to conduct covert "interrogations" of people we don't like. We call it Guantanamo Bay. And hell, half the dictators in South and Central America must be bad, because our leaders say so. They say they don't like torture, but they use it. They say they don't like drugs, but they prop up regimes that support the drug trade. In short, we want to get Hussein because we can. Because our troops will soon be kicked out of Saudi Arabia. (Yeah, we look the other way at the way women are treated there, at the way political dissidents are tortured there, at the way the Faisal family has systematically plundered that country and its people for lo these many years. Why? Because we like them. We can put troops there, and fly through their air space, and give them aid.) And when they're kicked out of SA, they'll need some place to go, some place that's conveniently next to Iran, our next target.

Soon, after this exercise that will leave thousands dead, that will kill babies and non-combatants, that will be uncovered by the media, so fearful are they that they'll lose sources in the government, that will foment many atrocities and war crimes, after all this, we'll just up and transfer our rhetoric against Iraq to Iran. Iran harbors terrorists. They're building weapons of mass destruction. They kill their own people. And worse of all, they just don't like us.

Yes, I'll be expecting another letter from Charlie Daniels then, after he puts his teeth back in and slurps down another brew. It will be read again, by some chimp with a flair for showing his ass in public, doing what is necessary for ratings, and thought be damned. And it will affect the quality of my life far more than W has, because he'll ruin another morning drive, piss me off with his idiocy and inflamatory, knee-jerk speechifying, and make me realize it's not the smartest people we listen to, just the loudest.

Boys will be (i take)

If everyone in college athletics cheats, does that make it right? When America's self-proclaimed ethicist at the New York Times says it's OK to steal an umbrella if someone has stolen yours, then I guess it's OK to cheat if everyone is doing it.

Jerry Tarkanian, looking like he had a tooth pulled by an 18th-century dentist, appeared on SportsCenter last week to defend himself and Fresno State. He pleaded ignorance. Fresno State should get the death penalty just for hiring him, as should the next school to hire Harrick, soon to be late of Georgia. Punish the alumni who insist on winning at the cost of a school's integrity.

That's why I like what St. Bonaventure has done, starting at the top and cleaning house. Coaches get away with what they can, because they can get over on Athletic Directors. And ADs let it happen because they are, overtly or implicitly, allowed to by the administration of the school. So ditch the president, who was asleep at the wheel if not deliberately cheating. And this one had the gall to say that fudging this poor kid's transcript was "the Franciscan thing to do." Some real Franny should clock him with a sandal. The school made a good move, and I hope they save the AD, who protested this whole welding certificate thing, but was overruled by the OFM-impaired president.

What does it say about college sports when Bob Knight, Hitler in a sweater, makes the classiest move of the week by refusing his salary for this year? What a sad state for the game.

Time (profblog)

It's amazing to me, how much time I have on my hands now. Of course, I haven't really started grading yet, and that will be time-consuming, but right now I've got gobs of time left over from school. I'm able to do more work around the house, and actually exercise. All this, and I'm teaching far more than I've ever taught in a semester. How can I do this? I think the secret here is service. As an adjunct, I don't have to do any service to the institution, just show up, teach, and collect my paltry paychecks. I realize now just how much of my time at EKU was spent on non-teaching work. All this time I have now, it was all sucked up by the institution. Hey, that's the way the game is played. I'm not complaining about it, just amazed that it works as well as it does.

USCS is an interesting place -- I especially like the 30% minority makeup of the student body. It will take me some getting used to, after EKU, but I'm really excited about it. The school is undergoing great growth; it's the fastest-growing university in SC. Faculty are crammed in everywhere -- I'm in a converted room that until last week housed the soda machine. We're teaching in the library, teaching in the media rooms, practically teaching in the halls. I get a good guerilla feeling from the place, like they're doing this all on a shoestring (I've been talking with some people from IT, and they're sorely understaffed, with no funds for new hires). But people are interesting, willing to work, and working hard.

GT is different. I really enjoy the people, and especially enjoy these students. I've got a class full of non-traditional students who run the gamut in skills but are all committed to their work and their betterment. I can live with that. I'm teaching online and at a branch campus, so I don't think I see the institution as a whole at its best. I think that people are committed, and working hard, but there are policies and strictures in place that get in the way of doing a good job. I'm sure that things will eventually work out, and if they don't, I'll roll with it.

I find myself playing "what if?" quite a bit. What if I had stayed at EKU? What would I be doing right now? How would I be feeling? Would I still be as frustrated? Will the institution ever commit to faculty retention? Did my leaving make any difference? Will people like Kevin and Paula ever have a chance to make a decent wage? When I think of these things, I realize that I made the only move I could; if I were still there I would be so frustrated and angry that it would kill me as it did before. From a few hundred miles away I can say that I chose the better way. I'm bringing home as much as an adjunct as I was as an associate prof with tenure (Amanda says I'm actually making more here, so I guess I am). I've got more free time. I've got less stress. I've got the time to be a husband. I've got the time to be a friend. I've got the time to write, to think, to work. Yeah, it's all about time here now.

IT woes (profblog)

In May of 1555, Pope Marcellus, a friend of the Jesuits, died and Paul IV assumed the papacy. Paul was a bitter man who hated Spain and everything Spanish. Ignatius of Loyola, a Spaniard, was shepherding his little order, the Societatis Jesu, through the snares of counter-Reformation Europe, but the Jesuits in Rome were reduced to dire poverty by papal enmity. When pressed by his companions to speak about the new Pope, Ignatius responded, "Let us speak of good Pope Marcellus."

I could write about the Keystone Kops that staff the IT department at one of my workplaces, but I won't. I could write about the arcane and byzantine hoops one must jump through just to get what most faculty throughout the country take for granted. But I'd rather write about the great IT people at EKU. If there's one thing I'll miss down here in SC, it's the overwhelming competence of the IT staff at EKU. It seems like there was someone who actually thought about what faculty needed when they set up the IT infrastructure at EKU. The policies made sense, they faculty and students were supported, and if someone was throwing curveballs, you can bet that there would be answers soon. But more than the infrastrcuture and the skills, there was a desire, on the part of almost everyone I dealt with in IT, to be helpful, to allow me to do my job in the best way possible by providing me with the support I needed.

I certainly took that for granted when I was there. I realize now that I got far more cooperation from IT than I ever got from any other area at the University. I know that such a structure is enforced from the top, and I appreciate that. The grunts, the people on the front lines, reflect the attitudes of those above them. And those attitudes were always positive, always considerate, always willing to go the extra mile, to get the workaround, to make things right.

In fact, I just sent them an email. Here's the text:

Gentles,

You people have spoiled me. That's all there is to it -- I'm spoiled rotten. As I start a new semester here at three different schools, I want you to know that you have set the bar high for other IT departments. I've been messing with a variety of IT folks down here for a couple weeks now, and believe me, you guys rock.

Not only do you have the infrastructure and the policies and procedures that actually support students and faculty, but you also have a willingness to help, and that, I'm finding out, is the most important thing.

I hope that I told you this when I was around, but just in case I didn't, I want you to know that your work, your thoughtfulness, your desire to do things right,and your commitment to surpassing expectations are all far superior to anything I've encountered. Now that I'm seeing how the rest of the world operates, you all stand out in sharp contrast.

I hope that you have a good semester. Work down here will be fine, but I will sorely miss you, not just for the services you provided, and for the many kindnesses you showed me, but for the fact that you were, to a person, knowledgeable, friendly, approachable, and committed.

Take care,

Joe

Starting over (profblog)

It's a new academic year, a new place, a new work situation, a new blog, and ultimately, a new life.

I'm finally getting installed down here in Taylors, SC, where I'll be teaching at Converse College, University of South Carolina Spartanburg, and Greenville Tech. I'm really running the gamut here, with courses at a two-year school, a very small four-year liberal arts school, and "South Carolina's Metroplitan University." I'll be a road warrior, a la George Brosi, but I'll survive. The important thing is that Amanda loves her job, loves the people she's working with, and can see herself staying here until retirement. That's fine by me, because I've already got nibbles from places about a full-time position for next year. The puzzle for me now is this -- I'm bringing home as much adjuncting as a slop hire for part-time work as I was as a full-time associate prof with tenure in Kentucky. And with this comes no service responsibility (something I spent a GREAT deal of time on in KY) and no pressure to put out anything. This is going to be a great year, I think. I just don't know what to do with all the free time.

Our apartment is pretty cool, with a lot of space. We live about a seven-minute drive from A's workplace, and I've got commutes of various lengths to my places. I don't mind it because the traffic is cool here. The animals have adjusted very well, especially the cats, who seem to be banding together more and more to fight the dog. Again, that's fine by me. I just dumped over 2K into the Saturn (new tranny), to make it roadworthy for the commuting I'll be doing. That's about the only bummer since we've been here.

On the plus side, it looks like Sue Smith has sold the place in Richmond. We won't get rich off of the deal, but we will get out of debt and have a bit to put down on the next house. We're looking at stuff down here, and there's plenty of new building, so we'll have a great deal to chose from. It doesn't look like I'll be a townie any more, but who knows where we'll end up?

One of these days I'll have enough stamina to talk about the GSP program, and what a great thing it was. Someday soon . . .

GSP (profblog)

What a great job this is for a workaholic. We just had our opening day, and things are going swimmingly. The staff here is incredibly talented, incredibly committed, and knows how to prioritize. Everything revolves around the scholars, as it should. It's refreshing to work with a group of people with a single-minded purpose, with the desire to do things right.

You've got to see this program in action to see what it can do for a scholar -- check it out.

I'm enjoying it because it's all-consuming, and because the people I am working with, from the state level on down to the Resident Advisors, are in this for the long haul. We're dealing well with EKU people, although there have been some slips (it's been suggested that these "slips" might be because of my own relationship with EKU, but I don't believe it). In fact, some people on campus have been especially great to us: Lee Van Orsdel, Julie George, and Kari Lyons of the library have been especially accommodating. Judy Cahill and Jim Keith from ITDS have been more than kind. Rich Middleton and Ed Herzog have made things work right the first time. Mark Jozefowicz in Transportation has covered well for my shortcomings. But the two most impressive people have been Mark Cross and Jill Price from Community and Workforce Ed. They have really done the lion's share of the scheduling work, putting in tedious hours making and remaking plans for us. I wish I could work with people like this every day.

OK, this is day two of the program, with thirty-four more to go. I'm sure I'll be ready for a break at the end of this, but the past two weeks have been exhausting and invogorating at the same time.

Looking good in Greenville (profblog)

So we're here in Greenville now. My puny body has taken a beating, while Amanda is still going strong, cleaning, fixing the place up, etc. And all the while she's filled with pity for me, because I'm so old and tired. The cats have recovered from their drugging (they were a bit wobbly yesterday), the dog likes the walks we've been on, and Amanda, of course, thinks the place is just great.

I heard from the chair of USCS, who may offer two sections. Sweet. Damn sweet, in fact -- now we can afford to be here. We've been driving around a bit (to set up the cable modem -- sweet speedy access), and we really like the place. Our neighbors seem friendly enough, with two kids and a very cute cocker spaniel. The apartment looks like it'll be big enough to get everything in, including the stuff we bought that we had to have for here. Along with the cable modem we got a cable TV package, so it's like a vidiot's delight around here. I'm sure that Amanda will be all over the web and the tube when I head for Richmond again and GSP.

Speaking of GSP, now I see what they meant about the necessity for people skills and diplomacy in the position. I've been answering emails for hours, writing to potential scholars and their parents, telling many of them that, no, what they wish to do can't be done within the parameters of the program. It's not a pleasant thing, but it's necessary. Maybe soon I'll get good at it.

Mike and Mig are coming down for the weekend. Mike's now a PhD; he defended a month or so ago and marched two weeks ago.

OK, trundling off to my trundle bed, a happy camper for the first time in a long time.

Big job search (profblog)

To begin, let me say that I've stayed away from the blog for a while because I have been so filled with anger and frustration about EKU, my situation there, and how it has been treated.

See, there I go again, because I can't get this off of my mind.

Now the rubber hits the road, and I'm deep into a job search. I just got back from Greenville, where I set up some things at Greenville Tech and at Converse College. I'm waiting to see if I can be of any use at USC Spartanburg. But it's getting late, and I'm not feeling as secure as I need to, so I've started to apply for tech writing jobs. I know this is a slippery slope -- the money is so good that's it's hard to give it up (again) to go back into teaching.

I've been through it before, but it bears repeating -- this place won't take the issue seriously, won't do anything more than give lip service to this, until good people leave. As long as the administration can say that "we're studying the matter" or "we know that this is a problem," and do nothing except wring their hands and complain that they have no money, they will continue to promulgate this structure that says you're worth more with no experience than you are with tenure and promotion and service to the institution.

There are things that break my heart about this, beyond the fact that I love this place and this job, but have to leave it.

Anyhow, all of the headaches and things I'll be glad to leave behind aside, Greenville is a nice place. Amanda loves it, so even if I hated it, it would be OK. But I like it too. It's far more diverse than Richmond (which isn't saying much). The cost of living is close (about a 5% increase), and the cultural opportunities are overwhelming. The weather is better, the landscape is gorgeous (there's a reason why Asheville was the retreat of New York's monied set), and we're just a couple hours from the beach. All that's worth a little belt tightening.

OK, more GSP work tomorrow. Maybe a better outlook on the future. Maybe a better set of thoughts about EKU.

All the hullabaloo (profblog)

So Kevin comes into my office this morning, claiming he wishes he could sing, because he'd be singing, "Let's go out, in a blaze of glory." Yeah, I was on the front page of the student paper today, with the headline, Professor Leaving Because of Low Pay. Needless to say, this didn't endear me much with the administration in the department. But that's not all of it. Even the weekly editorial was about this issue. I did, however, receive about a dozen emails from faculty who are glad that someone finally spoke up in public about this issue. It doesn't do me any good, but maybe it'll help those who are stuck at Eastern.

Don't get me wrong; I love the school, I love my job, I love my colleagues, and I especially love the students. I do, as the new president is so fond of saying, have a passion for this place. But the administration has decided that faculty retention isn't important, so we're getting doubly shafted, through both hiring in above and the failure to even nod at our benchmark institutions for faculty salaries.

I've also heard from many current and former students about this. Their comments through this have been sustaining; they recognize the situation for what it is, not merely a matter of economics, but a matter of (as members of the Societatis Jesu would call it) systemic evil. We'll fix one problem, low faculty starting salaries, by, for all intents and purposes, ignoring the larger one of low salaries across the board when compared to our benchmarks. And we'll create a new problem, that of salary inversions (I just participated in a search where the new PhD was to be offered more that I'm making with five years here, tenure and promotion -- turns out that the embarrassment factor was too high, so they lowballed her -- she'll be one of the disgruntled in a year or two). Nevertheless, the Assistant Profs in English are all being royally screwed in this hiring process. When we turn to the administration for answers, we're told one of two things, "You should see what I made when I started," or, more commonly, "If you want a raise, get another job." The sympathy just oozes out of their pores.

I hope that the junior faculty strike while the iron is hot, and ask the administration what's being done for them. The answer will be, of course, that they'll just have to take their lumps, shut up and teach, be good soldiers, and be "team players." But they should get a chance to hear this publicly, to hear declared that their service is worth less than nothing.

I'd like to be around to hear that, but I just can't afford it.

Consider me gone (profblog)

Amanda and I are leaving town, blowing Richmond for Greenville, South Carolina. She's been offered a position with the Greenville School District, and I'm looking for work down there. As I see it, I could have spent five more years whining about money, never seeing anything like equity adjustments, and eventually having new people being hired in above me (which will happen this year, to all Assistant Profs and a couple Associate Profs in English -- this is truly an example of systemic evil, created and perpetrated by those who don't feel the sting of the situation, who, whenever questioned about money, say that we should have seen what they made when they started -- a specious argument), or I could get out now, find something else where the upside is better, and hope for the best there. So I'm looking at part-time work so far, and maybe something full-time will come through. If it doesn't, I can tech write for a year.

I have heard from many faculty members and students that they are upset about my leaving. I've even heard from two deans about this. I have heard comments like, "You're doing what we all should have done," and "Now maybe they'll do something about salaries," and "What will we do without you?" I'm not worrying too much about the answer to that last question -- they'll muddle through as they did before, because, as the institution is showing, we're all just cogs in the great machine, easily replaced and soon forgotten. Oh, I was offered sweeteners to say, but they both involved working in administration, something I'd like not to do. It's a shame that good teachers, in order to make decent money, have to give up teaching for administration. One position would have been quite a coup, but it's work I didn't want to do. The other position was very tempting, working with great people for a great cause, but it didn't really address the issues that have let me leave: the practice of hiring in above without a funded plan for faculty equity, and the lack of a funded plan for moving meritorious teachers to 100% of benchmark CUPA data. If either of these things happen within the next five years at EKU, I'll be terribly surprised.

I hope this gets the junior faculty talking, forcing the administration to put up or shut up. It took the University 18 months to figure out how to spend 50k in salary adjustments (I saw a whopping $600 out of that). How long do you think it will take to determine how to spend something that will really make a difference? The English Department alone needs over double that to address the issues of benchmarking and equity. It's a shame, because many good people there don't have the opportunity to leave, so they're locked in to a system that in good conscience I can't deal with any more.

It's scary, heading for SC without a tenure-track job, giving up tenure and a place where I can do good work for the unknowns that will surely follow. But wherever I get work I will advance, and will enjoy my job, perhaps in a different way. I'll miss the people here, the fellow faculty who have become friends, the students who keep in touch, the staff members who work so hard for so little pay. But I won't miss the callousness, the good-old-boy networking, the offhand praising of incompetence and mediocrity that has become the Eastern Way.

That toddling town (profblog)

Just back from Chicago, and the CCCC. It's much better than the MLA conference, because the people aren't as pretentious. I didn't hear the standard, "I know this obscure theorist" discussions that I'm so familiar with from MLA. Amanda says that the bulk of composition professors in the U.S. are middle-aged white women. If this conference was true to the demographic, she's right on the money. My paper went well, I think, with great questions fronm the audience, and another really good presenter. Unfortunately, David Elias was unable to make the trip, so I read his paper, too.

Chicago is a great city. We got to see the Art Institute, where Amanda finally saw my favorite works there, Cornell's boxes. Then we were off to the Adler Planetarium, where our trip was far too short. We saw a show there, but as soon as it was over, the Planetarium closed. So my trip to the gift shop was off, which was a real bummer. Amanda scored quite a bit of stuff in the Art Institute gift shop, but I held myself in abeyance until the Adler because I was looking for some cool new posters. Oh well, such is life. We did, however, get into a great impromptu discussion with two barflies who worked at Tower Records. One turned around when I commented on the American edit of "Brown Eyed Girl" that he had just played on the jukebox, and the other came to "save" us from the first and engaged in a rousing defense of Bukowski's work. I told him he was preaching to the choir on that score.

Now it's back to the grind, the week after Spring Break, and school resumes again. It turns out that this may be my last semester here. Amanda got very good vibes from the interviews she had in South Carolina, and I can make more money adjuncting there than I can as an Associate Professor here. Just what I thought. We'll see. First she has to get an offer from one of those places, then I'd have to chuck it all in here. Believe me, it won't be the money that holds me here.

Avoiding grading (profblog)

When you're as deep into grading avoidance as I am right now, anything sounds good, even downloading india.arie mp3s and listening to bootleg Tenacious D stuff. I've been at it for a while today, while a stack of papers stares at me from the dining room (that's right, they can stare through walls, and you can feel the resentment in them as it bores into your back).

If it weren't for grading, this would be a great job. I think every prof, somewhere in every semester, reaches the end of the rope, and gets into grading avoidance. Usually that happens toward the end of the 15 weeks, so you can just push on through and get done, despite the pain of reading yet one more set of bad papers. However, this semester I've got it bad. It's not even spring break yet, and I'm already burnt. I'll get them back to the students tomorrow, but between now and then will be about ten hours of pain. It's stuff like this that makes me envy the people at R1 institutions, with 2/2 teachings contracts. Of course, I'd have to put out a national article every year, something slightly less onerous than grading, but then again, who am I kidding? I'd never even make the first cut for a position like that.

I think one of the reasons why I am so out of grading is this job search. Amanda has a series of interviews over spring break (all in South Carolina, a place I could really enjoy), and we've been talking about what to do if she gets an offer there. I think she'l really like it, and I don't want to do the typical academic couple thing of being apart for a year, so I think I might take a year's leave from EKU next year and look into positions in SC. Amanda thinks that I'd be better off in a high school, where I won't have to do all this non-compensated stuff like web design and committee work and CCSA and tech writing. Maybe there's something to that, but I've only got the seed in my mind so far -- I'll need to think about it for a while before I make a decision.

Ars Bachelorum (profblog)

Amanda is leaving town for a couple days and I'll be baching it. I think there's an art to it; not something you might get a degree in, but something that you need to excel in to survive. When I first came to Kentucky, I didn't really have the chops to be a bachelor. My life was like the blood in the water that sharks smell. And those sharks were the non-traditional students, those with three kids and an abusive husband that they were leaving behind by coming to school to create a better life. I must have been set up and scammed a dozen times that first year, singly and in tandem, with kids on hip and with kids at home, with kids in class and with kids in the office. These blandishments weren't difficult to turn down; I don't think I'm mature enough to take care of myself, let alone a ready-made family.

So now being the bachelor is easy, with the help of Manly Tips for Bachelor Living and Buck Bangalore.

I'll be spending most of the weekend doing work for the Governor's Scholars Program, so I'll be too busy to enjoy being alone for a while. I've got two stacks of papers to grade and some other academic work, too, so even when I'm home, I'll be swamped. I've still got a set of reviews to get out, because I spent last weekend doing EKU's Quick Recall tournament all day Saturday, then attended a Sunday morning meeting for GSP, then cooked for Sigma Tau Delta and the Association of English majors on Sunday afternoon and evening. I was pretty busy.

Non-mainstream media (profblog)

I've been spending a lot of time online lately looking for alternative news sources. I've found some good ones like Alternet and Yellow Times, but there are some really bad sites out there, too.

This article about unions just blew my mind. Using this tragedy to push the standard pro-big-business-screw-everyone-who-isn't-white-because-all-those-people-choose-to-be-poor is beneath even the Republicans. When Reagan took office in 80, the first thing he did was smash the Air Traffic Controllers union. The first thing I did was go out and have a PATCO hat made, just like the ones I saw them wearing on television. It was a miserable, dirty, underhanded thing for him to do, and now, 22 years later, his little buddy's little buddy is doing the same. Besides violating the policy of checks and balances that our government is founded upon, and besides ignoring the results of an independent study, this move is a typical Ashcroftian/Orwellian technique that will allow the ascendancy to remain so at the expense of the rest of us.

I usually get incoherent when I talk about politics, believing as I do that we have a moral responsibility to our neighbors (something the Christian Right, huge backers of the Republicans, doesn't seem to understand, despite all their talk about faith-based initiatives). The Republicans define "neighbor" as, "anyone who looks like me." Fine and dandy if you're a white middle-class bigot, but you're screwed if you're not.

My grandmother put it best many years ago. "Joseph," she said, "I'll tell you the difference between Democrats and Republicans." I listened attentively, because she was a great politico. "Republicans will steal from you." I nodded as if I understood. "And Democrats will steal from you, too." I looked a little puzzled. "But the Democrats, they'll give you a little back." It was her turn to nod.

The marriage thing (profblog)

Today I'll write about marriage, because this morning my wife read this blog for the first time and commented that I spend too much time talking about money. I acknowledged that I do so, but offered in my defense the fact that I even admitted as much here. She wasn't impressed. So I did a quick little web tour on marriages, and came up with a couple interesting things. To begin, almost every site about marriage talks wants to sell you something, be it advice or a device, that will keep your marriage happy. Yes, I think the web is the first place I'd look if Amanda and I were on the rocks. Who better than an anonymous figure with a bad site designer and a paypal account to help me out with the most important thing in my life?

A Relationship Quiz About Marriage
While the site is selling a seminar that will make you "divorceproof," the quiz is interesting. Actually, it's mostly pretty frightening, but I'm not one to stay with the national trends too long.

Marriagebuilders.com
I think it's interesting that this site claims it is "the #1 infidelity support site on the internet. Why? Because we have more experience helping couples successfully recover from infidelity than anyone else. And our information and support forum are free." Yikes. I guess it's a pronouncement on the state of marriage today. It's disappointing.

About.com on Marriage
There appears to be a good deal of information here, but the banner ad above it is for a private investigator, one who will help you find out if your spouse is cheating on you. Great. Let me just peruse the top ten ways to sustain my life-long commitment, while I sneak a little peekaloo to see if she's stepping out behind my back. Isn't one of those top ten ways trust?

More Quizzes from the Couple Place
Hey, at least these are fun. They take the sting out of the statistics that say you might as well flip a coin on your wedding day to determine if you'll stay together.

Super Bowl Sunday (profblog)

Yeah, like this is the only blog to use that opener today. Actually, I probably won't watch the game because I'm two sets of reviews and two stacks of papers behind. I've spent the day checking out a great site, Alternet. Here's what they say they do: "At AlterNet.org, we are doing something about information overload and corporate media irresponsibility. Our website is designed to serve as your 'online helper,' leading individuals, policy professionals and journalists alike to sources for information and insight. There is a word for this role. It is an 'infomediary.'" It looks like a great site, with nice links and provocative stuff.

So I was thinking this morning about EKU and money (like you could get away with a post that didn't dwell on this), and realized that, with the English Department's new commitment to hire people at market value, they're doing a good thing for themselves politically. They're creating a ghetto of disgruntlement, settled between the senior faculty, who come the closest to being satisfied with their salaries (is anyone, anywhere, really satisfied with what they make?), and the newest of the junior faculty, who will actully be making more money than us, pulling down what the market says they should be making. Bracketing us on both sides, we're far easier to ignore, or just wring hands and exclaim, "we'd really like to do something, but there's nothing we can do." I've got some great plans, all budgeted out, but nobody is asking.

I spent yesterday interviewing candidates for Governor's Scholars in Louisville. I got sick on the way home, and had to pull over at a damn rest stop to puke. It's the same old same old, a bad headache, then nausea, then feeling like I've got the flu for about 15 minutes, then tossing, then feeling better except for the headache. This has been pretty regular for a while now; maybe it's migraines or something like that. Hell, if I actually trusted my doctor I'd see her, but I think I need a new primary care physician.

Swapping music files (profblog)

I guess the only reason I stay online many nights is to download music files. Tonight is no different, as a dozen or so creep their way through the ether to my collection and I play games, read news, and in general avoid all my work (I've got two sets of papers to grade, plus two sets of music reviews due). I know that there's a battle raging about this, with people saying "information seeks to be free" and others saying "I need my gouge." I guess I actually side with the people who need their gouge, but I down stuff anyway. I think that there is such a thing as copyright, and people should be given just compensation for their work. However (and maybe this is easier to see with warez rather than music), I just don't want to give money to the evil empire, be it Microsoft or Virgin Records. So I'll continue to swap files (although I down much more than I up), but I won't feel good about it until I think, "I can burn yet another cd of my faves." In fact, the only thing I find onerous is the slow down times on this dialup. So let's get this straight (bless me father, for I have sinned): I know it's wrong to download these files, but the good of not paying for them outweighs the bad of any moral qualms I have about the project. I'd like to think I'm more enlightened than that, but I'm not. Of course, the ramifications of getting caught are severe, but I'm willing to take that risk. I'm a two-bit copyright thief; there are much bigger pirates than me.

I'm also advising a research panel in exo-, paleo-, and astrobiology. Consequently, I've been spending a lot of time on sites like Sky and Telescope, Astronomy.com, and Space.com. They're good compendiums of info about all things out there. While I'm at it, I might just learn about the wonderful scope that Amanda bought me a few years back. I'm still looking for star parties in the area, but there seems to be nothing.

The Steelers game (profblog)

Right now we're in the beginning of the fourth quarter of the AFC playoff game, and New England just lost a challenge. The Steelers are still down, but this could be a good close one at the end. It's different, being here in Kentucky when the Steelers are playing. I work with one person from Pittsburgh, and she's having a grand time this season. To be honest, I haven't caught any game except the one my brother took me to when I was in the Burgh. Nevertheless, I can say that I'm a serious fan. I never lost faith in Kordell, even durin gthe past two years. I guess I never lose faith in any of the Burgh teams, even when I know they'll lose.

The semester proceeds apace. The comp classes are OK, and the poetry class is going well. Our Allyn and Bacon sales rep is moving into the technical side of the business, so I'm hoping for better responses from their tech people, especially with their web stuff that I use in the comp classes. I am in the process of completing my Report of Professional Activity and Development (RPAD), which the University uses to determine merit pay. Of course, there will probably be no merit pay both this year and the next, and if there it is will be 1% or so. Typical EKU; minimal stuff being done to retain faculty. I know I'm just the tip of the faculty exodus iceberg. So I'm doing this RPAD, where I'll spend a few hours detailing my activities instead of actually doing something productive. Let's see, if I get the maximum merit possible, and there's actually merit money this year, I might see an extra five bucks in every paycheck for this work. Yeah, that's incentive, EKU style.

Love that poetry (profblog)

So this modern poetry class is going swimmingly. Today we did Dickinson, which was OK. I'm not a big Emily fan (I think there are two kinds of poetry lovers int he world, Emily lovers and Walt Lovers. I'm a Walt lover.), but I enjoyed the poems nevertheless. Thursday is Hopkins, whom I can do in my sleep. Something about the Jesuit training makes him easy for me.

Anyhow, I'm still waiting to hear from schools, although I am preparing more applications. The Chronicle online has been berry berry good to me. Lunch with the Provost on Friday was heartening, but he said what I thought he would; there's no cash available, and even if there were, fixing the broken salary structure here is not a one-year project. Many people will be looking at continuing years of salaries under their market value. The Provost let me know that he wishes I would stay, but he certainly understand the need to improve myself professionally. One thing he did suggest was an administrative internship for a year. This would give me a chance to see if I could do that kind of work. I think workign with the Governor's Scholars Program this summer will also provide me with such an opportunity.

The office is finally through its flux. The couch is gone, as is a metal bookcase. In their place is a beautfil, huge, wood bookcase that now takes up almost a whole wall. It's great to get more of my books organized. Now I just need to get myself a two-seater couch for the office and things will be perfect. I had to rearrange all the posters and stuff, because of the wall space I lost, but it's all done now and looks very spiffy.

The semester starts (profblog)

OK, it's now two days down in the new semester, and I've met each class once. The comp classes will be the usual grind, with students already trying to get over on the course. Won't happen. The modern poetry course looks great, although I did a quick poll of the class and found out that the most favored poet that we are covering this semester is Plath. Don't get me wrong; if you're going for the confessional school she's the best. But somehow she influences the forests of drivel that these teenage shoegazers call poetry, and I can never forgive her for that. Some lonely sentimental overly romantic goth reads Plath, and figures that if he or she just gushes out feelings on the page, fills it with rancor or bitterness or self-pity, that it's poetry. Wrong.

I've spent most of my time on campus today setting up other people's computers for networked printing. One colleague asked me if I was getting release time to do this. I just laughed and told her to talk to the chair. Right, like I'd get release time. Hell, I asked three times this semester for release time that was coming to me and didn't get it. Oh well, I'll bank it. If I'm here next year, I'll take it. If not, consider it a donation for the cause.

One new site to look at: The Voice of the Shuttle has been redone, and it now looks as good as it works. It used to have a kind of homespun charm, but now it appears super-efficient and still has the best humanities links out there.

Frankfort (profblog)

Did the Posters at the Capitol thing yesterday. What a joke. We set up and stood around for hours, and the governor didn't have time to see any of the work (he only took the time for two group photos, which of course made it look like he was an integral part of the whole thing -- politics at its finest). The only time the legislators walked by was when everyone was supposed to be listening to Gordon Davies, the god of higher ed in the commonwealth, give a speech. So of course no one was around to explain any of their work to the representatives, except my students and I, who were waiting to get their pictures taken with the University's new president. In the end, as the topper on the day, she never showed for the photo, so the students didn't get their pictures taken with her. Great.

One of the students and I went to see the general assembly in action, and it was a typical legislative day. After getting started an hour late, we listened to some high school girl sing "God Bless America," then heard about 5 minutes of reporting from the clerk, then the speaker suspended the rules and held a meeting in his office. This meeting was only supposed to last 10 minutes. After 15 minutes, we left. Of course, the assembly never reconvened for the rest of the day. Their schedule was to be there until 6, then take an hour, then hear the governor's "state of the commonwealth" speech at 7. Instead, they knocked off at 3:30, having done absolutely nothing for the day. The student was amazed that, even when the clerk was reading his reports, nobody was paying any attention. There were private discussions, photos, and general self-serving behavior throughout the room. EKU's new president was scheduled to speak, but she was mightily dissed, as all she could do was pose at the damn speaker's podium for pictures.

Two things you should never see being made -- sausages and laws.

And guess what these guys (and they are predominantly guys, and they are overwhelmingly white) make? Much more than they deserve, working 90 days every two years.

I did it (profblog)

Well, I finally wrote to the Provost, to tell him of my seeking a new position. I told him that I knew that he couldn't afford, either economically or politically, to match what I would be offered anywhere else. He understood that, thanked me, and wants to meet to talk about my professional future. Will he tell me that money is coming, to just hang on a while longer? I'm not sure. I know that EKU had 50k to spend on faculty adjustments this year, and I got less than 700 of it. I'm looking at positions that will raise me over 10k, so I know that Mike can't come up with that kind of scratch. As I've said before, it's been 5 years and a promotion, and I still can't make what the average college grad makes. Pitiful. And pitiful me for staying here for so long, watching bad move after bad move, hoping against hope for something different.

Anyway, the semester starts next week. I've got two comps and one modern poetry. The comps will be onerous, but what can you do? Hopefully I'll be gone for a god deal of the semester, doing on-campus interviews. I know that I'm going to at least three conferences, and at one of those I'll accept an award for innovation and excellence in teaching. That should certainly help in the job search.

So here's my new favorite site: fark.com. This place compiles the news, all the strange stuff that slips between the cracks. It's as informative as slashdot, but doesn't take itself or the news so seriously. Check it out.

Surgery -- drugs (profblog)

It looks like my surgery went well. I'm able to get around without crutches (although I'll probably need them if I go out of the house), there's not too much bleeding at the site, and the drugs they gave me are pretty good. Not vike good or OC good, but good nonetheless.

I'm looking at a weekend of watching DVDs and reading and getting online for as long as my leg can stand the dependent position. The area is looking at 3 to 6 inches or more on Sunday. I love the runs on bread and milk, as if nothing but gruel will do when you're snowed in. I imagine that Krogers will be jammed tomorrow, with everyone loading up just in case we can't get to the store for, ohmygod, three days.

I've got an appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday and that Poster thing in Frankfort on Wednesday, so I'm hopin gthe snow will go away soon. Off to more drugs and TV and lounging. It's a tough life.

New Year's Eve (profblog)

Well, it's the end of the year, time for everyone to assess, make resolutions, talk about how their lives have changed and how 9.11 has made them a better person, and get sappy and melancholy over lost opportunities. Me, I'm no different, but I'll spare you the self-pity or martyr pie.

New Orleans went very well. It looks like I'll get an on-campus interview at a place that looks much better than I originally thought it would. This time next year I could be on the beach. I got to spend a lot of time with Steve and his clan, and the J-man and his clan. We hit the Audubon Zoo (taking the St. Charles Trolley right past where I used to live) and the Aquarium. We also hit the River Walk and the French Market. I enjoyed it all, even if the walking was a bit much for my soon-to-be-opped knee. The food was great. Steve's sister Sally has been in the city for about 6 years now, so we were able to hit some great local spots out of the Quarter or the Market District. It was nice to be with someone in the know. Steve's parents were also there, and we made a great large group.

I stayed in the hotel that was built on the spot where the book A Conferederacy of Dunces starts. Since it's one of the funniest things I've ever read (and one of my faves), I really appreciated the statue of Ignatius Reilly they had on the sidewalk on Canal Street and the shop window they had featuring his pyloric valve. Excellent -- a good tribute that was witty in its own right. However, the hotel (the Chateau Sonesta) was outrageous. I can't believe that people would pay $475 per night for nothing more than a large boxy room with a small television and carpet that was wet. I got it for $130 per night, and it was way too much even at that price. However, I was right in the Quarter, on Canal, two blocks from Bourbon, and pretty centrally located. I also hit a used book store a few blocks away for a couple more books of poetry, which go nicely with my coup of about 5 Harry Crews novels for 3 bucks each in Pittsburgh. Man, people don't know what they're doing.

For Corey (profblog)

OK, It's been a long time since I've updated this blog, but here goes. Right now I should be on a plane for New Orleans, where I'm interviewing for positions at other institutions. I should be, but am instead at home, doing this, because Northwest Airlines cancelled the flight and could only get me out later today. Seven hours later today. This is, of course, after I was at the airport at 5 am, even before their damn ticket counter was open. And get this -- even though I haven't even been anywhere -- they lost my damn luggage. Now how the hell can you do that?

I figure that I'm still "in play" at 16 other schools. Of course, all those won't pan out, but I think I can get at least four or five interviews. We'll see. I'm also trying to circumvent the whole offer-counteroffer process by writing directly to the Provost, telling him that I need to make more money. EKU has actually come though for me, though. They're boosting my salary by a whopping $671 dollars per year. This puts me at close to 78% of what a comparable associate professor would make at our benchmark institutions. And for this, of course, I'm grateful, because the EKU way is to look out for me. They talk about their commitment to faculty retention, but they've got nothing but an insult to show for it.

Actually, the EKU way seems to be to do everything for the cheapest possible price. Well, they can't get me that way any longer. I'll keep on doing this, looking for work at another place, until either EKU comes up with the cash or I end up somewhere else. I have the feeling that EKU will not offer me anything different than what they already have, so I'll probably be posting here from somewhere else come September.

Hey, tomorrow is my birthday. I am officially old. I've been unofficially old for years, but this one cements it.

The grind goes on (profblog)

Just in case you haven't heard this story yet from me: I awoke two nights ago to my wife standing on the bed screaming hystetically that there was a man behind the door to the attic. Talk about scaring the piss out of me. Next thing I remember I'm in front of that door with a bat in my hands and she's screaming at 911 on the phone. The cops show up, go over the house completely, and of course there's nobody up there. But we need to sleep with the lights on anyway, or rather, she needs to sleep with the lights on, because now I'm so pumped with adrenaline that I can't sleep for the rest of the night.

Honestly, I have never been so scared in my life as I was at that moment. Even now, just recalling that image to mind, I get goosebumps and start to sweat profusely. I think I'm still scared by it all, still startled by strange noises and movements. Damn.

Amanda's family believes that I should be armed -- that a gun would take care of all of this. I doubt it -- I know I'd still be spooked by every little noise and would probably end up shooting the damn dog.

Chicago bound (profblog)

I'm off to the windy city in a couple hours, leaving at 4:00 am for a panel that will present later today, at about 2:00 pm. By that time I'm sure that we won't even be checked in to the hotel (the last time at the Plamer House, we spent four hours in the lobby). Of course, the last time I was at the Palmer House was the first time Amanda and I took one another seriously. Weird.

Later today, of course, I'll be exhausted and non-functioning (I think I may have SERIOUSLY reinjured my left knee -- it feels like there's a pound of meniscus in the joint again. Maybe I can shake it out (that's incredibly optimistic), or maybe I can avoid any long walks (I've got to lead a tour of the Chicago Art Institute on Friday -- we'll see how that goes).

It'll be good to get away for a couple days. I need the break from EKU, because my tech writing classes have been driving me nuts. I've had to do so much serious mothering, and the products have been god, but not great. It was different when I did these online, because there was no room for mothering or extending deadlines or basically cleaning up code after everything was supposedly done. Now, f-t-f, it's a whole new world.

Don't get me wrong; they're great classes, with good students who are trying hard. But they're lacing a certain rigor, and that may be because we're seeing one another and they know they can get over. Oh well, live and learn.

Amanda's birthday (profblog)

Sometimes I think I'm just damn lucky to have met a woman like this, one who is willing to put up with my 40-year-old bullshit and my 11-year-old intelligence. At other times I think other things, but I'm trying to get a handle on that, and not take this woman for granted. In celebration of her 24 years, we're off to brunch then the mall, where she'll participate in that great consumer venture called "buying clothes for work." She's doing great at her job, and it looks like Scott County will want her full-time after her practicum and internship are finished. That would be OK with me, if she can hack the commute, and if we stay in KY.

Speaking of that, I was at the office until midnight last night (yes, on a Saturday night) getting the envelopes right for 20 job applications. That's not a lot, but they're all in places where Amanda would like to live, so we'll see what happens. My letters of recommendation are on their way, and I'm hoping for at least one offer, just to get a counteroffer from EKU. But the Dean did say that I shouldn't bluff on this, so I'm not. If I get an offer somewhere else and nothing from here, I'm gone, to sunnier climes and lighter teaching loads, and at least 10% more money. Sweet.

Governor's Scholars (profblog)

So it looks like I'll be the Campus Director for the Governor's Scholars Program at EKU this summer. The job is interesting, the challenge is great, the money is sweet, and maybe I can carve out some time to spend with the students. It'll be nice to be with the best students in Kentucky.

There are some downsides to this, one being that I'll have to live in a dorm on campus for seven weeks. Should be interesting.

On the classes front, my tech writing classes have finished their sites. Here they are:

EKU Science Learning Resource Center

Business Communications Primer

This is good work. It's not brilliant, but it's nice.

OK, off to a rehearsal dinner tonight, then a wedding tomorrow.

Crash and burn (profblog)

That's what happend to the old handmade computer I was working on. I turned it on on Friday and it smelled like gunpowder. Turns out, according to Wendell the god, that the power supply fried all the drives. They were in such bad shape that Wendell wanted to save them for their neat effects. He thinks it might be the electricity in the house. He brought over an oscilloscope tonight and we spent a couple hours checking te lines. I'll be calling the electrician tomorrow. And getting a UPS. And making sure I back shit up,

Now the black beast is gone, replaced by a Sony VAIO that I paid way too much for. But I was dealing with a wife who lost most of her thesis, in CompUSA at 9:00 on Saturday night. I knew I was getting gouged, but I had to do it. 1.5k for a 1.7 gig with 128 of the new 800mhz RDRAM, cdrw, dvd, 80 gig hd, 32 megs on an nvidia Geforce 2 card, firewire, and all the other standard crap. This one better last for a while.

Wendell thinks he may be able to salvage some data from the old disk, but I'm not holding my breath. Of course, if anyone can do it, it's him. He's been more than very good to us. In the meantime, we're retyping a lot of stuff, and I'm redownloading plenty. Oh well.

When classes go wrong (profblog)

No, it's not as bad as when animals go crazy, or milk goes sour, or anything that would make a good reality-tv special, but this is a nasty thing. Today, for instance, teaching my intro to tech writing class, it just blew up in front of me. The leader of the group doing group work didn't show up; her minions knew very little about the project. She knows barely more, but enough to screw up the template they were working from so badly that I had no idea what she was up to. After an intervention by the University's web administrator, I finally just packed it in and told them that they just had to get me their files in .txt format and that I would do the rest.

Crash. Burn. Die on the way to the hospital.

My normal classes, where I just do my schtick, don't go bad like this. It's only the ones that are project-based that have this potential. Of course, when they work they're great. But this time, this one certainly is in a slow-motion explosion.

The job hunt has come around now -- the MLA list is finally in the department, and I'll make copies of it tomorrow. I've got my letters of recommendation lined up, some decent places to apply to, and perhaps a chance to do the same job for a living wage somewhere else.

OK, off to download more mp3s (I'm thinking of Mellencamp -- doing the whole thing if I can get the damn cd burner to roll).

ThinkGeek and Nashville (profblog)

I'm headed for Nashville tomorrow for a meeting of the board of trustees of The Cooperative Center for Study Abroad. Two fun-filled days meeting about currency exchange rates, international investments, and course proposals. Actualy, I kind of like it, but I'm amazed that everyone there is SO into international travel. I mean, this is life for many people. I like it, and I love to teach overseas, butI've got other things to do, too. Right now I'm putting up five international courses from EKU this year, so I'm working pretty hard on cordinating things and getting flyers done, stuff like that.

The first things I've smiled at in a long time are two shirts: ThinkGeek :: No, I will not fix your computer and ThinkGeek :: STFU Tshirt. I could use both of these. Amanda says I should wear the first one to work every day. Maybe.

One last thing -- Promotion and Tenure applications are due on Monday. I know what I'm doing Sunday.

Wendell's got a girlfriend (profblog)

So after seeing "Serendipity," an OK flick, with my lovely bride, we headed to Hastings to get her a "greeting gift" for a friend that she's having lunch with tomorrow. She picked up a 20 buck copy of The Lord of the Rings, and I got myself Ben Folds' newest, Rockin the Suburbs. While we were in there, we saw one of my favorite students, Wendell Wilson, with his roomie Sam and some woman who may or may not have been his girlfriend. I was very excited.

I think I spend too much time worrying about the lives of my students. Will Wendell get a girlfriend? Does Keri understand this? Is Corinne tired all the time because of something bad at home? Is Byron dating? I am constantly wondering, worrying about students, partly in a paternalistic way and partly out of curiosity. I want to spare them the mistakes I've made, and want a view into their lives. I guess it's harder growing up now, or so I'm told, but I really think the fundamental issues are still the same. Am I a decent person? What will or won't I do? Can I make a life for myself like this? Who's more important, me or my friends?

Yeah yeah, it's almost 2:30 and time to go to bed -- no more worries for tonight, just a wife and a dog and two cats and life again in the morning.

Writing with nothing to say (profblog)

I guess this is what separates the real "need to write" writers from the rest of us who do this when we have to, or when we have something to say. Rigth now, I've got nothing to say, but i'm making that the issue for a little riff, which is so pomo I just want to puke about it. I feel like I've been slimed by Seinfeld, the king of irony. A quick google search reveals that "nothing to say" is a pet phrase of songwriting hacks who turn to the internet to see their tab (kind of like the people who turn to blogs to see their writing, no?). If that search didn't give me diabetes, I'm safe to start mainlining straight sugar now.

The debate last night went fine. I took the role of the raving anarchist, and it was fun. One debater, the chair of philosophy, asked the other, a government prof, where I was getting my sources, at www.anarchistsrus.com? It was a great dig, and so true -- most of my work on this was done on the web. Of course, the first question we got was how to address these issues so lightly in the face of the 9/11 attacks. We all dropped the masks and spoke, eloquently, I think, about the nature of government. We all cautioned against the knee-jerk violent response and the runaway power mongering going on now. Remember what Benjamin Franklin said: "Those who would sacrifice liberty for safety deserve neither."

I'm still deep into grading avoidance on this set of comp papers. I'll get them done by Tuesday, but midterm grades are due ont he system tomorrow. typical, to require the grades a week in advance of when they're needed, so that we can't give an accurate assessment of a student's progress. But hey, this is supposed to retain students. Of course, no one is really interested in retainign faculty, which is why I'll be somewhere else by this time next year.

Avoiding work (profblog)

It's an easy thing to do, this avoiding work. With the web, and the novels I need to get through, it's very easy not to write or grade. In fact, I'm skipping both of those even as I write now. I have a debate to do on the nature of government this Wednesday night. I need to distribute my opening remarks by tomorrow morning to the other participants. I'm deep into avoiding that right now. I've also got two stacks of papers that need grading by Tuesday -- maybe I'll get one of them done by then. I also have to do a midterm exam for my online class and put it up by Wednesday.

To this mix add the fact that Amanda has been out of town all weekend and that I spent yesterday coaching the Academic Team at a tournament. Yeah, I guess I'll be working late tonight.

So I'm reading Naipaul's A Bend in the River. I need to do so because it's one of the works chosen to test the masters students on this year. Once again, I feel like Jim Dixon in Kingsley Amis' Lucky Jim, because I've not read something I should have. His description in that book of the ultimate English professor game, "Humiliation," is brilliant. A group of "literary" people gather, and one person calls out a title of a book that she has not read. She scores one point for every person in the group who HAS read that work. That's it; it's very simple. However, the psychology behind it is brilliant. Obviously, you will score the most points with "classics," works that you think everyone else has read. So you need to profess your ignorance of some of the stalwarts of Western literature. In short, to win you must humiliate yourself. Of course, with my lack of desire to read Melville, Dickens, Eliot, Hardy, or any other 19th-century overdrawn crap, I guess I can usually clean up on that game.

anyway, here are some links you might like:

Overcoming Procrastination
The UIUC Counseling Center has this nice little page explaining why we do this and what we can do to stop. I think I'll read it tomorrow.

V. S. Naipaul: An Overview
George Landow, one of the gods of lit on the web, has done this site as part of his poco work.

Kingsley Amis
A nice primer for the man and his son (Martin), by Books and Writers, a site I've trusted for a while now.

Applying for jobs (profblog)

I think I whine quite a bit about money. At least, that's what people tell me. It's galling, however, to know that it will be another two years before I make what the average college graduate makes in these United States. By that time I'll have had six years in here, been promoted and tenured, and still not be making what the average BA will be making (of course, by then their average salary will be higher, so I probably won't be making it then, either).

There are places that actually pay a livable wage to those who teach. I'll be applying at places like Cal State Sacramento, Murray State here in Kentucky, The College of Charleston, among others, this year.

I was so frustrated that I wrote to ms. mentor, who writes a column for The Chronicle of Higher Education. She answered me in today's column. Yes, it's a nasty little business, full of deceit and trickery and the willingness to disupt your life so that you can live decently.

Kentucky's new state program is called Education Pays. Given the data they've collected, they seem to be right. Education does pay, just not for educators.

Hell of a speechwriter (profblog)

The boy is a doofus, who always looks too damn smug, who doesn't have two brain cells to rub together, even when it's his day to use the family gray matter (Jeb gets in on MWF, W gets it TR, but all weekend, because, after all, he's the prez). But he's got a hell of a speechwriter, and he knows how to deliver a line. He hit all the spots he needed to hit, emphasizing tolerance twice (twice daily might be what we need).

Now what? I'd like to think that we're out of harm's way, but I can't convince myself of that. Instead, I think we're in for more attacks, not necessarily from the air. We've been hit in the solar plexus of the military-industrial complex, and at the nerve center of international finance. I think entertainment is up next; these are the cultural artifacts that the Great Satan exports, and the things we're hated for.

Duck and cover, kids, we're in for a long fight.

Like Bookends (profblog)

I heard from some old friends this week. Doug Rice I've mentioned before. He's the guy that's going to hook me up in Sacramento. Actually, he's the guy who speaks highly of the place and makes me want to go there. But I also heard this week from Kathryn Rummel, a friend from UNC who's now at California Polytechnic State U, in San Luis Obispo. It's gorgeous out there. She's got a great job, but I feel a bit sorry for her, out there by herself. Oh, I know she's got plenty of friends out there and she's not only respected but liked in her department, but it still must be tough, a Kentucky girl out there on the left coast.

Kathryn and I never knew each other well at UNC. We were chatting aquaintances, people who would pass in the halls and say a few polite meaningless words (I am sure that I was wearing the motley, not her). and then I came here, minutes from her parents' place in Lexington, and she went there, thousands of miles away from here. We stayed in touch by email, and I can remember communicating with her on a level that went far beyond what our friendship warranted, because it was so easy to be honest and hurt and lost and confused and lonely when it was only me and the computer. There was no need to get defensive, no need to rationalize, no need to raise my hackles over some unintended slight, no need to do anything except imagine her and Sukie, her dog, in a great many-windowed apartment near the beach, walking in the sand every day. And so I did.

Lately we had slipped out of touch. It was probably my fault, although I don't know why. I still think of her often, and how different her life must be. It will be nice if I can maintain this opened door. I'm not good at a distance (it's why I think ultimately distance ed will fail -- it will take two to six percent of our students, and that's it -- faculty are better face-to-face), but maybe I can try harder.

Exhausted (profblog)

It's been a hell of a week. I know, nothing like what people in NY are experiencing (buona fortuna, Tom Cultice and all my friends at Mannes College of Music, the Jesuits at Xavier, and all the help and hearts of Bailey House), but still tiring for me.

Tomorrow I go to spend the day teaching an appropriate topic, Workplace Violence. Needless to say, I've got my case study lined up. I do this a few times a semester, for NAILM and for EKU's Community and Workforce Education. I got to be good at this when I worked at UNC Hospitals and had to develop policies dealing with this issue. I ended up doing this schtick at plenty of places.

There's more to do and more to grade, so I'm off.

Avoiding grading (profblog)

Is there a better grading avoidance device than a terrorist attack? It's just minutes after the World Trade Towers and Pentagon bombings and I've got almost 30 comp papers to grade. I'd rather watch the news sites crash than grade. Hell, I'd rather do anything than grade (well, almost anything).

How about these links:

Terrorism -- Intelligence Threats Assessments
This is a link site to all the docs needed to become an expert on terrorism.

The Anarchist Cookbook and The Terrorist Handbook
They're both here at this weirdpier site.

The Pentagon
Makes you all warm and fuzzy for the arms merchants.

How Does It Feel?
This may be what the rest of the world is saying to the U.S. right now.

Feeling puny (profblog)

I made a great blogging mistake today -- I looked at other blogs. Man, I thought I was hip, I thought I was up on the design, I thought because I tweaked the html in this template that I was hot shit. Well, I learned just how puny I am this afternoon. There are some awesome sites out there, with witty, interesting people writing incredible stuff. I saw a lot of sites, and they all looked better, linked better, and created something more interesting than this.

So maybe I've got it all wrong. I read some articles that suggested that blogs should be annotated lists of sites. Well then why the hell am I writing this prose? Where are my pix? How about my unusual and thought-provoking links? The details of the fascinating and envy-provoking life I live? The fun city I live in and my drunken wanderings through it?

Man, I got nothing.

And to top it all off, I graded my online class for most of the day and spent the rest of the time trying to copy a cd with a new miniCDRW that hangs at 2:37 of every cd. Now I've got some nice new coasters, and one data cd that I did manage to burn.

Anyhow, you want links, here are some links. They're not trendy, they're not particularly cool, they're just there to make you think:

Path to Peace
History of Northern Ireland peace process and ongoing negotiations from ireland.com. Just plain sad.

Company
The U.S. Jesuits put out this mag. Show me someone doing work as important.

Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan (RAWA)
You think life is tough for you? Check this out.

Jimmie Spheeris: A Memorial Gallery
This guy was awesome; I've got some of his vinyl, and he still rocks.

Grading on Saturdays (profblog)

This has got to be the worst thing about being a teacher. Grading is bad enough: reading papers where I know I'm spending more time on them than the author did, noting and correcting the same gradeschool-level mistakes over and over again, writing comment after comment in the recognition that, for many students, the transfer of knowledge from one assignment to another is a dicey proposition. And to do this all on Saturday? Miserable.

I got into this dodge because I told myself that I was sacrificing money for time, that I was never going to make any decent cash, but that I would have more time for the rest of my life (let me tell you about what professors of English get paid -- in my fifth year, after being promoted early to Associate Professor, I still can't make what starting English ass't profs makes at our benchmark institutions -- I'm still at least one year away from 40K). Well, it just doesn't work that way. This semester I've cut way down on my work time, which means that I'm putting in 40 hours of work instead of my usual 60. And what do I have to show for it? Nothing but debt and the recognition that next year, people will be hired in above me (or above someone in the department, a truly despicable thing). It's no wonder I'm looking for a new position.

I ran into (well, it was an electronic "ran into") someone I went to grad school at Duquesne with. He's at Cal State at Sacramento, where I'll be applying. Doug Rice does work that I don't understand, and I understand and appreciate lit for a living. But hey, he's in the Acker vein, and he's pissed off Senators Helms and Ashcroft, so he must be doing something right. I think about him in that big Teaching Assistant office at Duquesne, holding court, being loud, and generally tossing out offhand comments that could rule your life if you thought about them (they did for me). And I think of those straightlaced, buttoned-down, incredibly Catholic people we shared an office with, and I just laugh. Do a google search on Doug Rice and read a few of the reviews of Blood of Mugwump and A Good Cuntboy Is Hard To Find. It may not show you where literature is going, but it will open your eyes to the possibilities.

Doug, it was good to rediscover you after so many years. I trust you are well and still ranting. I'm happy your voice is recognized and celebrated.